Destiny
by Luv2Write86
Summary: Beckett has to stay with Castle during her recovery. Someone's been messing with her medication, and she's been barely avoiding attacks. Kate is in for the fight of her life when she discovers who has really been after her.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: The finale was incredible last night and can't wait for season 4. Here's my story on what I think happened after the finale. This is from Castle's POV. I do not own any of Castle or the characters. I am merely writing this story as a pastime.

*Spoilers if you have not seen the Season 3 finale yet*

Chapter 1: The Shooting

Everything happened in a blur. I was standing there mesmerized at her presence, her elegance, her mannerisms. A shiny light caught my eye, the next thing I knew there was a gunshot, screams, and me throwing myself on top of her. I was too late. The gunman got to her before I did. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was always so strong, brave, never ran from a fight. But here she was, lying in front of me while her life slipped away.

All that kept going through my head was how I couldn't "wait another minute" as my mother had warned me the previous evening. I had already wasted way too much time. "I love you, Kate", I said. She kept her eyes locked on me, "I love you", I repeated. I had to make sure she heard me. If this was the last time I'd see her beautiful green eyes looking into mine, I had to make sure she heard me. She had to know how much she meant to me and hear those three little words that I had been holding back for the last 3 years. I had always just been waiting for the right tomorrow, now I had run out of tomorrows, this was my last chance.

My hand was covered in blood, I was praying it was my own. It is the worst feeling I had ever felt, having her blood on my hands. I kept staring at it, almost like willing it to just disappear, turn into some kind of nightmare. Maybe I would just hear her beautiful laugh once again saying "it's just ketchup Castle". I knew it was unbelievable, but I could always hope.

"Dad, dad! Are you ok?" I heard Alexis crying as I got pulled away from Kate. Four strangers started tugging at Kate's uniform, tearing it off her, connecting her to a lot of tubes and pipes. I tried to run to her, but I was being held back. "Relax bro, let them do their job", everyone was now surrounding us. Cops and paramedics were swarming the place. "You can't help her any more right now, they'll take care of her, you have other responsibilities to attend to".

I snapped out of my daze. My daughter, my mother, they had been at the funeral. I took a glance around and saw them huddled together, Alexis in tears, my mother trying to stay strong as always. I rushed to their side, they clung to me immediately. "Is Beckett going to be ok?" Alexis whispered between sobs. I didn't know how to answer, I just had to get to the hospital. I had to be by her side. I couldn't let anything happen to her, she protected me so many times, this was my chance to protect her.

I looked at my mother for reassurance that everything was going to be ok. Growing up she always knew what to say, what to do to make everything right. The woman was always right, not that I would ever admit it to her. She was right about not waiting another minute in telling Kate how I really feel. But what would happen now, would I see her alive again? Would I make it to the hospital in time, would she pull through this and give me a chance to fix everything I had ever done wrong between us? "I'll go get the car". The first time she seemed to not know how to fix the situation, however, getting the car seemed like reassurance enough.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Aftermath

"She's in surgery, we can't tell you anything more at this moment", that's all I could get out of anyone. No one would tell me where she was, if she was ok, or even if she was alive. Kate's father and I waited together in silence for a doctor to come see us. Lanie was around somewhere in search of a coffee or tea, anything to have a bit of a distraction. Esposito and Ryan had gone back to the cemetery in search of something that would lead us to whoever had done this. They expected us to call the second we heard anything. My mom and Alexis had finally gone home after a lot of convincing. They were tired and needed rest. However they were going to take care of a few things then rest and they would return.

We were sitting in a small waiting area inside ICU. It wasn't a large room, just enough room to seat a little under a dozen people waiting for news on their loved ones. The perimeter was lined with silver folding chairs which discouraged long seating. The walls were painted a glossy white that reflected the four rectangular lights that were attached to the ceiling. In the center of the room was a table which had scattered magazines on top of it.

ICU was a very active place. There were lots of nurses and doctors rushing back and forth in their hospital attire. Each doctor that walked by made my heart jump. I hoped one of them was Kate's doctor and that they were coming out with some good news for us. Any news would be appreciated. The last I had seen of her was when they were driving off with her in the ambulance. Once we had arrived we were informed she was in surgery that could take anywhere from one hour to several hours depending on the placement of the bullet. They wouldn't know what they were up against until they had started the surgery.

We'd been waiting for what felt like an eternity. My watch said 7:37, I had no idea if that was morning or evening. I had lost all sense of time. I started counting tiles, first the ones on the floor, then I moved on to the ceiling, 1, 382 combined. There were 8 magazines on the table, none of interest to me, however I had skimmed through them all between breaks of pacing back and forth. Lanie brought us coffee to help keep our mind off everything. However, all I could think when I saw the cup was how I always bought two, one for me, one for Kate. One milk, one sugar is how she liked it. The last cup of coffee I had bought for her she never even drank. She had been off at the jail for her weekly visit to Lockwood. I wish Lockwood were still alive so I could torture him myself. He was the one that started all of this. He was the reason Montgomery was killed, and why Kate was in the hospital fighting for her life. I left the coffee on the table next to me, I couldn't bring myself to drink it. This type of situation always steals your appetite away. Also, the hospital smell surrounding you for hours doesn't help either. Being in a hospital always leaves me with an uneasy feeling. Sitting and staring at blank walls doesn't leave you with much to do but think. It makes your mind wander to the worst possible scenarios.

Shortly after 9 Kate's father got called out of the room. The doctor wanted to speak to him in private. It was impossible to read emotions in the doctor's face. He talked in monotone and had a great poker face. Under better circumstances he would have been a great addition to my poker night. He didn't give any sign on if he was about to give Jim Beckett good news about his daughter, or bad. The doctor didn't have a connection to Kate so there was no reason why he would be showing any type of emotions. Kate was just another patient to him, taking up another bed, needing his care. He deals with grieving families every day, he couldn't let himself get emotionally attached to them all.

"She's out of surgery, they only let me see her for a second", Jim Beckett said as he returned to the room. Before he left with the doctor he was in a state of shock. He barely moved from the moment we got here, just sat in his seat in a daze. When he returned his manner was changed. He was more on edge, worried, upset. He couldn't sit down, all he kept doing was pacing around the room in circles. Each time he reached the door he would look out, in search of something. The doctors had told him the next 24 hours were critical. It took all my strength not to stand by the door and look out as well. I don't know what I would be looking for but it just seemed like something that would calm me.

The doctors wouldn't let anyone into see her yet until the anaesthesia wore off. From what Jim had seen, she was lying motionless hooked up to several machines. Seeing his daughter that way had really shaken him up. No one wants to see their loved one in that condition, but it seems much worse when it's your child. They are supposed to outlive you and always remain healthy and safe. When Alexis received a few stitches at the hospital after she fell on some ice I had been beside myself with worry. I didn't sleep for 3 nights after even though she was home safe and sound. I kept sneaking into her room every half hour to check on her and make sure she was okay.

At 12:17 a doctor finally came into the room and said we could see her but only one visitor at a time. Jim looked at me and said: "You go first".


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you all so much for reviews and adding this story to your alerts and favourites, it means so much to me and encourages me to keep writing. Keep reading and reviewing :) **

Chapter 3: Consciousness

"She's in room 212, third door on the right" The doctor said as I rushed to leave the room. It wasn't a large area, just a few rooms on either side. Each room contained bedding for at least two patients and just enough room for a visitor each. At the end of the hall there was two doors, one held a black and white portrait of a man in a tuxedo, the other door held a portrait of a woman in a stunning evening gown that probably would have been worn in the 1800's. These were probably the only washrooms in the vicinity. In the center of the room contained a little nursing station where one nurse was currently sitting working hard on something on a computer, nearby a nurse was consulting a doctor about some paperwork. I found myself slowing my walking pace. I had been in a huge rush to get to her room only now I was frightened. What if I couldn't hold it together when I saw her, what if she didn't want to see me, what if...

My though process was interrupted by a loud piercing siren that started sounding from one of the rooms. The doctor, followed by the two nurses, rushed by me to get into one of the rooms. That's when my breath caught in my throat, they were rushing into room 212. I prayed it wasn't her, and that it was for whoever was sharing the room with her. It was a horrible thing to wish and I didn't care if I had to go to hell for it, all I cared was that Kate had been through enough this past week. I tried to see in the room, I managed to get a quick glimpse before I got shooed out. She lay there as still as a statue, as white as a ghost, but still just as beautiful as an angel. That's when I saw that her machine had flat lined. The doctor had the paddles out and was trying his best to resuscitate her. Then everything went blank.

The next thing I remember is hearing someone yelling my name, a female voice, while feeling a rough tapping on my face. Then suddenly something cool struck my face. I opened my eyes and saw Esposito standing in front of me with an empty pitcher of water. I looked around trying to see where I was. I felt so disoriented. I was back in the ICU waiting room covered in ice water. I looked at everyone in confusion. "You passed out in the hallway, cold water is usually the quickest way at revival". Esposito stated while trying to hold back a laugh. Lanie was seated next to me with a worried look on her face. I looked around and couldn't see Jim anywhere, that's when it came back to me, "Kate...something happened...everyone rushed in...alarms going off", I tried to explain but I was short of breath.

"Calm down, her father is in there now finding out what happened", Lanie seemed to stay so calm in any situation. Even under all her calmness I could see she was hurting inside. Beckett was her best friend, and having to see her best friend being shot down in front of her was taking its toll on her. I could see the bags forming under her eyes. Like me she was stubborn. She had refused to go home and rest. She wanted to be here until she knew everything was going to be okay.

As I had left the room apparently Esposito had shown up. Ryan had gone home to be with his fiancé, while Esposito wanted to be by Lanie's side and be here to support Beckett when she woke up. The two guys had searched the grave site for anything that could lead us to Kate's shooter, but they had come up empty handed. They had to call it a night as it was too dark to see anything, they had planned to pick up in the morning once the sun had risen. They had already called in some reinforcements to help search. They wanted every inch of that site covered.

"You fainted probably because you haven't had much to eat today have you? Eat this." Esposito said as he handed me a sandwich he had brought. He had already given one to Lanie which was half eaten. He had picked them up on the way over here. I thought back to before the funeral. Everything that had happened before the funeral was a blur. I remember grabbing only a scone on the way out the door as I had planned to eat after the funeral and wanted to save my appetite. We were supposed to go out for a celebratory lunch for Captain Montgomery and praise the life he had led and all the great accomplishments he had met.

"Thanks" I muttered. I was grateful for the sandwich but didn't have any appetite whatsoever. I felt nauseous at the thought and sight of food. Its weird how actions that we repeat daily get forgotten when you're going through a traumatic event. Eating, showering, changing, brushing teeth...all standard things we do day to day, but when you are waiting in a hospital for news, they all get forgotten. Each night I always fought with Alexis over brushing her teeth before bed, why she shouldn't wear the same clothes five days in a row including sleeping in them, and the importance of showering, because without it you won't keep many friends. The major thing I always stressed with her was the importance of eating. I always tried to make sure she had three substantial meals each day with a healthy snack in between. I was the lucky father who had an incredible child who actually enjoyed her fruits and vegetables.

I didn't want to be a hypocrite or have to argue with Esposito over this so I took a few bites to please everyone, mostly myself. Before we could talk about food anymore Jim came out. Kate had suffered a mild heart attack. Her body had been under so much stress with everything it had gone through in the past 24 hours and her heart just couldn't take it anymore. She was stabilized now and that's what mattered. Jim said I could go in now to see her if I wanted. He had gone in but she wasn't conscious yet.

I left the waiting area and started towards her door again. The fear was already beginning to build up inside of me. I had told her I loved her, was she going to remember? Was she going to say it back? When I approached her room I could see the bed she was at had the curtain drawn partway. As I got closer I could hear her starting to stir, she must be waking up finally. "I lo...I love...Love you...I love you too", I heard her trying to say, it was raspy but I could hear it. That's when my fear went away. She did remember, and she said it back. She was awake, she was going to be fine, I wanted to pull the curtain back, I had to let her know I heard her and that everything was going to be okay now. As I went closer I could see in, I saw her facing the opposite side, I figured she was looking out the window while she came to. She was just as beautiful as ever even with no makeup on. Just as I was about to say something to get her attention I heard, "I love you too Katie". Josh was seated on the other side of the bed.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: For this chapter I decided to do it from Kate's POV. I hope you guys enjoy it!**

Chapter 4: Am I dead, or alive?

Standing at the podium, saying my official final goodbye to Captain Montgomery was the hardest moment I've experienced since my mother's funeral. Standing in front of all those people taking in my every word was difficult, he had touched each and every one of them in one way or another. I saw his children sitting in the front row, they would now be growing up without a father. I saw his wife who is now a widow at an age much too young. Esposito, Ryan, Castle and I, we had all grown close to him, seen him as more than a captain, he was a good friend. He may have been the third cop in the alley that night, but he was not a killer. He was a great friend who had gone to great lengths to protect me all these years. Without him around now I felt bare, unsafe, like I could be taken down at any moment. The world was a different place without him in it, it was empty. Then I looked over and saw Castle, my partner, always there to keep my spirits up whether I wanted or not, always knew how to lighten the mood in the worst of situations.

I was partway through my speech, I had been working on it for the last few days trying to get it right. It was difficult to figure out the right words to express how great of a person this man truly was. He gave himself to protect others. He was a true hero. I hadn't slept probably more than four hours combined since the shooting five days ago. Each time I closed my eyes the scene kept repeating itself, Castle holding me against his car while shots were being fired, then running in and seeing Montgomery lying there lifeless.

I was beyond exhausted and I was hoping saying goodbye today would help me put this to rest. After the service a bunch of people from the precinct were planning a luncheon in honour of Roy Montgomery. Afterwards a nice hot bath and a good book was calling my name. I thought I saw a glimmer in the corner of my eye, before I had a chance to check it out Castle had me pinned on the ground. My first thought was "What the hell?" When I tried to speak, the words wouldn't come out. A burning sensation began to build in my stomach, then turned into an unbearable pain. Starting at my feet I began losing feeling. It moved slowly up my leg, reaching my knees in no time. I caught a glimpse at my right hand, my white glove was covered in blood, my blood.

I'd been shot. They were still out to get me. Roy had given his life to save me, and it had been for nothing. Lockwood had been killed but another had been hired and was now out for me, and he'd succeeded. I could hear my name being yelled out, I locked eyes with Castle. He looked so frightened. He was lying over me trying to get me to stay with him, I wanted to scream out to him I'm not going anywhere, but I had no air to say it with, I had no voice, no strength. I tried to fight the pain, but everything was getting blurry, the pain was subsiding. The numbness had almost reached my shoulders. I couldn't feel any part of my body below my neck, darkness started closing in on me. "I love you Kate", had I heard him right? "I love you". We kissed, we almost froze together, a bomb nearly took our lives, we shared a hotel room, and now he says it.

The next thing I saw was a bunch of blinding lights, clatter of metal, and lots of voices surrounding me. I opened my eyes to see a man standing over me with some type of metal thing in each hand. It was too hard to keep my eyes open, everything was too blinding and I was too exhausted. I couldn't move, I couldn't feel any part of my body.

I must have fallen asleep because the next time I woke up everything seemed quieter than it had before. There was still a lot of activity around but not as close to me. Before I opened my eyes I did a quick check of my body to see if I could move everything. My legs were very stiff and I couldn't move them much at all, they didn't feel like they were mine. I tried to move my arms, when I moved my shoulder I got a striking pain in my stomach. I flinched and that's when everything started hurting. Someone was with me, "I love you". Castle! My last memory was him over me saying he loved me. I wasn't able to say it back. I tried again to see if I could get it out, I had to respond to him. "I lo...I love...Love you...I love you too". It sounded horrible but I got it out.

"I love you too Katie". The voice didn't come from Castle, it came from Josh. What was he doing back here, when did he get back? How long was I out of it? Why wasn't Castle next to me, since he started shadowing me three years ago I could never keep him more than two feet away. The one time I actually wanted him with me, I needed him, he wasn't here. I wanted him to tell me everything was going to be okay. I wanted to hear some of his stupid jokes that would lighten the mood. I needed his strong shoulder to cry on. He wouldn't judge me, he'd stay strong, he'd get me through this.

I opened my eyes just enough to see my surroundings, I could see Josh sitting beside me, holding my hand between his. He had a concerned look on his face. There wasn't the same emotion in Josh's eyes as there had been in Castle's. Castle was right, I do get myself into these dead end relationships with men I don't really love. I wanted to love Josh, he was a great guy, but he wasn't my guy. His career took priority in his life, I wanted to be the priority in a guys life. I wanted to come first for once. However, Josh was supposed to be away, if he had only come back for me then he did care enough about me to see me instead of leaving for Haiti.

"Was...h...he...caught?" I had to know, I did not want to be lying here when this guy was still out there, I needed my files, I knew I would be able to find a clue that would lead me to him. I wanted to see Lockwood's phone, check his last callers, he'd be able to lead me to him.

"Let's not worry about that now, take it easy, you need your sleep." I felt exhausted but there was no time for sleep. I tried to sit up, by I didn't have the strength to move my arms. I tried to move my legs, but I had no feeling in them. "My...my...legs...can't move" I tried to explain.

"You're under a lot of medication right now babe, you still have an epidural in from the surgery, stop trying to move around, please try and get some sleep, I'll see if the nurse can give you something to help you sleep." I wanted to fight him on it, but speaking took so much energy. I wanted to see Castle. Maybe he wasn't here because he had been shot too. I did have a lot of blood on my hand, I had to see him and know he was okay. "Cas..." Before I could get out Castle's name a nurse had come in, then slowly everything started to go dark.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you all again for the reviews and adding it to your favourites! I hope I can continue to keep you all entertained. This chapter is taking place from Castles POV again.**

Chapter 5: Confusion

Josh's words hit me like a bullet. I couldn't bare to look either one of them in the eyes, so I turned around and quietly exited the room before I was spotted. I really believed things were changing for the better between Beckett and I. I thought we had finally over come our obstacle and that it was our chance to be happy together. But as usually perfect motorcycle loving Josh comes in and sweeps her off her feet. It should be me next to her, I was the one that tried to save her. Maybe this was my punishment for being a second too late pushing her down. Josh was her boyfriend, he cared for her and she claimed she loved him. He was her boyfriend and I guess it only be fair for her to wake up and see him next to her.

As I left Backett's room I wasn't sure where to go. I didn't feel like having to face everyone back in the waiting area. I needed to get away from everyone. I left the ICU for a little while and made a quick call home making sure my mother and Alexis were all right. They still sounded startled but much more relaxed than they had been several hours earlier. In all honestly it sounded like mother had been into the 'juice' to help her relax.

The hospital was very quiet. ICU had a lot going on at all times of the day and always had visitors coming and going. The rest of the hospital was very different, no visitors were allowed after 9. The hospital basically shuts down at 9. The cafeteria and gift shops were closed down for the night. I saw the occasion doctor rushing by. I also saw a couple security guards standing around the exits making sure no one violated the 9pm rule. There was no place left that I would be able to go without one of the security guards shooing me out, so I slowly made my way back to ICU.

When I entered Lanie jumped up and came over to me. "How is she?" she asked right away. I went over and sat down. "I didn't see her, Josh was in with her." Lanie put her arm around my shoulder. Jim had gone home to shower, change and try to get a couple hours sleep. When he had talked to the doctor he had been able to see her for a few minutes and the doctor had convinced him that she was stabilized and that he should go home and get some rest. Esposito had gone home to rest up for the 6am combing of the graveyard. "She would want to see you, trust me." Lanie said reassuringly.

We sat in silence for the next little while. I must have fallen asleep because I awoke a little while later to someone shaking my shoulder. I looked up trying to get myself reacquainted with my surroundings. When I moved my head to look at who had shaken me I got a sharp pain down my neck, and my back felt like it belonged to a 90 year old. _Oh the joys of sleeping in a chair. _When I saw who had woken me I would take 160 more hours of sleeping in a chair, it was Josh.

"Hey buddy, can I talk to you for a moment" he whispered indicating towards Lanie who had also fallen asleep. _Buddy? I was far from his buddy. _I got up and we moved outside into the hallway that led to the rest of the hospital. "Thanks for being there for Katie yesterday when I wasn't able to. She took quite a beating with that bullet. My biggest fear when we started going out was that I'd lose her in a shootout. If you hadn't kept her awake until the paramedics arrived, things could have taken a turn for the worse. I just wanted to give you my sincere thanks. You're a great friend to her Rick." He patted me on the shoulder, I made a mental note to send this jacket off to the dry cleaners. "She's on a lot of pain medication right now and needs her rest. The doctor wants no visitors for the next few hours. In the morning you will be able to go in and see her, for now you may want to go home and take it easy. I'm heading off now, I'll be back later on tomorrow."

I tried to fake a nice smile while acknowledging I'd see him in the morning, but there was no way in hell I was leaving this hospital. I looked at my watch, it indicated that it was 3:37am. I don't know how I'd managed to fall asleep before, but I couldn't bring myself to sitting down again let alone attempting to fall asleep. I looked over at Lanie, she was lying across a few chairs breathing peacefully. She may look comfy now but she'd definitely be feeling the pain when she woke. I walked over to the ICU entrance and peaked in. Things were quieter than they had been not long ago. All the lights were dimmed down to encourage all patients to rest. There was only one nurse in sight she was on the computer typing something up and looked like she was on a caffeine rush. She had a little smile on her face and her face looked like it was glowing. She seemed to be in her early twenties, probably working on an assignment for class. She did have the look of a med student, eager, attentive, perfect crisp uniform, hair nicely tied back. I went over to her and chat with her for a few minutes.

By 4:01 I was walking into Beckett's room. She had an oxygen mask next to her that could be slipped on if needed. A few tubes attached to her right hand, the machine that I had seen her flatline on was still connected to her, but now was showing nice wavy lines. She also had a large black band around her upper arm measuring her blood pressure every fifteen minutes. I walked closer to her, and sat where Josh had been sitting. I picked up her left hand, she felt so frail. I looked at her bracelet, the blue print read Kathryn Beckett with her birth date printed underneath.

"C...cas...tle". I looked up and saw her looking at me. She looked so weak, so innocent. "Kate, please don't try and talk, just rest, you've had a rough day." It was hard for me to tell her to sleep, I wanted her awake, I wanted her to yell at me, to argue with me, something to show me that she was fine. I could see her slowly move her head to look at her surroundings. I could see her noticing that it was the middle of the night as there was no one around and the lights were on very low.

"Visi...ting hours are...o...over, how...di...id...you g...get...in?" She looked at me with her face full of confusion, she knew it was past 9, however for once she seemed grateful that I was not following directions.

"Let's just say my charm can go a long way. Now please, get some rest, we can talk more in the morning." She didn't say anything else after that, she smiled and then slowly closed her eyes until she fell asleep. I held onto her hand and sat back in the chair and fell asleep. I wanted to take advantage of these few moments where I felt relaxed, because who knows what tomorrow will bring.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Hey Everyone, sorry for the extremely long delay, June was a crazy month with so much happening and I had no time to keep my story updated. I have a lot of ideas for the following chapters and hope you will keep checking back. I will try to update frequently but in August updates may slow a bit. Thank you to all those who are continue to follow this story!**

Chapter 6: Morning

_I was walking down a long corridor in the hospital. I couldn't tell which area I was in but I was out of ICU. Kate was standing at the other end of the hallway in her hospital gown, waving at me to come to her. I quickened my pace, I wanted to reach her. "Come on Rick, I have something to say to you." Was this it, was she going to say she loved me! I started jogging, but she wasn't getting any closer. I ran faster, and faster, she just stood there looking at me telling me she had to tell me something. I finally reached her in time for her to say "I brought a change of clothes for you." _

_I stared at her blankly wondering what she meant. "Kate you're okay! Shouldn't you be lying down? You need your rest." She shook her head and moved her body into mine. "I have a change of clothes for you." Ooh kinky, not what I had in mind but I'd take it. I like this side of Kate, more open and direct to the point. She moved her mouth towards mine, before I was able to kiss her she started hitting my shoulder and then said, "You're breath really is horrible in the mornings." I blinked a few times, had she really just said that? We were about to kiss and I have bad breath! _

I blinked a few more times and opened my eyes to see Alexis and my mother standing in front of me. Alexis had been hitting my shoulder trying to waken me. It took me a minute to reorient myself and where I was. I looked around and I was sitting in one of the hospital chairs, still in Kate's room, however Kate was no longer there. I must of fallen asleep, I looked back at my mother and daughter trying to get my brain functioning, working on only a couple hours sleep, and extremely uncomfortable sleep with that didn't go over well.

"Kate was taken down for some more tests, dear, we arrived as she was leaving" Martha said. I sat up and my back now felt like it belonged to a 180 year old. I tried to stand up, but that wouldn't be happening quite yet, I needed to give my back a few more minutes. I checked my watch to see it was 8:42. I couldn't believe I'd slept through her leaving. "Dad I brought you some clothes and your toothbrush which I recommend you use now if you can find a place to clean up."

"Thank you Alexis, I can manage to find a place," then looking at my mom "any word on her condition?" I needed to hear some news, something about how she was holding up, and when she should be back as good as new.

"Not yet dear, she's gone for some tests that's all we heard. Now come on, get changed and we'll go for some breakfast, you need to eat," Martha said as she ushered Alexis out of the room. I looked at my surroundings, the other bed that lay parallel to Kate's was empty, the bedding was all set for the next occupant. I looked over to my right where Kate's bed had been. There was a large empty space now, with a nightstand further over. On top of the nightstand contained a brown paper bag which must have been filled of Kate's belongings that she had on her at the time. I couldn't bring myself to check in the bag.

I finally managed to stand up and I grabbed the bag Alexis had left and exited the room heading over to the nurse's station. After a quick conversation with two nurses I found myself holding a key to a private washroom that was to be used solely by doctors or long time employed nurses, or, of course, a writer with a quick wit and ability to charm anyone over. Ahh the joys of being Richard Castle.

The bathroom was larger than any type of washroom that a standard visitor to the hospital would see. It was very similar to what one might see in someone's home. It contained a shower stall, toilet and sink, along with a shelving unit filled with newly washed towels in a variety of pastel colors. The bottom half of the wall was painted a pastel blue, with the top being a faint yellow. A border filled of pastel colored flowers circled the room covering up where the two colors met. The room had one window which contained curtains with an identical pattern to the border. Clearly a woman had designed this room.

I started removing my jacket but stopped when I spotted the deep red stain on my jacket sleeve. I could feel a lump growing in my throat. I felt nauceaus all of a sudden, everything came rushing back. The shot, her falling, her blood leaking out, her face losing color. I wasn't strong enough to relive it. I closed my eyes and stripped off the rest of my clothes. Once in the shower I put the nozzle to almost maximum heat. The nearly boiling water helped relieve my tension and was removing the horrible back pain that I had acquired during the night. Tonight I would sleep on the floor, it couldn't be more uncomfortable than the chairs.

After I finished all my bathroom duties I left the washroom and returned the key to the ICU desk. I took a quick peak into Kate's room but as I suspected she had not yet returned. On my way to the cafeteria I discarded my clothes from the previous day, I could not bare to see them again. I found my mother and Alexis seated with Lanie awaiting my arrival. "Any word from the guys?" I asked the group.

"Esposito texted me about a half hour ago to see how she was doing, they started their search this morning just after six, so far nothing has been found. While you guys eat breakfast I am going to rush home for a quick freshening up then I will be right back, call me if you hear anything, and I mean anything." After I promised Lanie I would she took her leave while my mother, Alexis and I went to eat our breakfast.

At 9:50 just as we were about to return back to the ICU Jim returned with Josh at his side and joined us at our table. The hospital had called him and said they wanted to meet with him at 10 to discuss Kate's results. It's incredible how with the new technology results are basically instantly delivered. Josh had gone over to play the caring boyfriend card and had driven Jim back. Even with having had a few hours of sleep Jim looked like he'd been awake for several days straight.

We all wanted to quickly return to the ICU but at the same time we all were walking slowly, dreading returning. Jim continued on in towards the nursing station while the rest of us met up with Lanie who had already returned and was seated in the waiting area. Here we go again, more waiting. That's all hospitals seem about, the wait. We all just sat in silence, none of us were interested in small talk. We were all over tired and scared. We had maybe three hours of sleep combined amongst the five of us.

Jim seemed to be in there for a long time. I kept looking at my watch, at 10:20 Josh leaned over and interrupted my thoughts to say to me, "Hey Castle, thanks for coming back today, it would mean a lot to Katie to be surrounded by her friends." Wow does that guy ever get on my nerves, I had a million and one responses running through my head but before I got a chance to respond he was summoned on the overhead speakers to go to the ICU Nurse's station.

Shortly after Josh's departure Jim returned. "So far from what they can tell is the bullet badly damaged her liver and broke two ribs. She's scheduled for surgery today at two o'clock. The bullet is situated in a critical area and surgery may take up to six hours to complete. They are going to attempt at removing the bullet. They originally thought they could leave it where it was but now it has slightly moved and may cause damage if left in place. They are also going to check her kidneys and make sure no damage was done. He said there may be more damage but that won't be known until he goes into surgery. Luckily he said he did not see any sign of internal bleeding."

The news hit me like a pile of rocks, more surgery? Hadn't she been through enough. Just as I thought things couldn't get worse Josh returned to tell us that he had just been recruited to be one of the doctors working on Kate. The pile of rocks had suddenly turned into a huge pile of boulders.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Preparation for Surgery

There's always that fear that comes with surgery. It may be over a standard simple procedure, or a life threatening operation. As the person is getting rolled away the loved ones all stand around anxiously biting their nails, pacing the waiting room, looking into the hallway as if it will suddenly have all the answers. Fear engulfs the room. Whether the wait is forty minutes or ten hours, it always feels like eternity.

When Kate was in surgery the day before I couldn't think straight, I was frozen in fear until I heard the words "she's in stable condition." I thought the worst was behind us, now it would just be a matter of waiting for her wounds to heal, both emotional and physical. I was really wrong. I couldn't get it through my head that she would have to undergo another surgery, one that would take most of the evening to complete.

I wanted so badly to go back and change things. I don't even know what I would change. Maybe I wouldn't have encouraged her to keep going so religiously to see Hal Lockwood. Maybe if I had paid more attention during the trial and I could have caught on to the fact that something wasn't right. Or maybe if I'd done something differently after Montgomery had called me. There are so many what ifs that keep running through my head. Not that they make any difference now because no matter how hard I try, there is no way to go back in time to change past events.

I could feel Alexis slip her hand into mine and look up at me reassuringly "it will be okay dad, Beckett's tough, she's too stubborn to give up this battle." She was right about that, Beckett was by far the toughest gal I had ever met.

A few hours had passed, it was now almost one. The doctor wouldn't let anyone in to see Kate before now. We had already spent far more time in with her than standard ICU visiting regulations allow and he wanted her to get her rest. Jim had just gone in with her now, the rest of us were all seated still in the waiting area waiting for our turn with her. Because she was scheduled so soon for surgery the nurses were keeping a very strict watch on our visiting and only allowing us to go in one at a time for five minute intervals. They wanted to make sure her stress level stays down and she can relax before the time comes to be transported off for that dreaded time.

One by one everyone took their turns, first Jim, then Lanie, followed by Martha, then Alexis, and of course Josh. Now it was my turn to go in. I didn't know what to do or say, I was trying to think up a witty comment about her surgery that would bring a smile to her face, or maybe even a laugh.

"Mr. Castle? You may now go in and visit with Kathryn, Josh was called away to go over some files, would you like me to escort you to her room?" I didn't recognize this nurse, she didn't look more than twenty. She was very petite and seemed to be only around 5'3", had light brown hair tied up with a bright pink elastic. I would have preferred to walk alone and given myself a few minutes to organize my thoughts but I also didn't want to be rude. "Sure that would be great, umm ?"

"It's Alison," she smiled, "but you can call me Ali, Mr. Castle." I got up and followed her through the door. "I'm a huge fan of your books, I've read them all and can't wait for your next release."

"Thank you, it's always nice to meet a fan," I responded trying to be polite, I wanted to avoid small talk and we had approached Kate's room.

"My breaks at 5:30, i'll see you in the cafe?," she said in a flirtatious manner and smiled as she walked away. I shrugged it off and went in to see Kate. She looked so tiny and helpless on the bed. She seemed lost in all the sheets and blankets that were tangled around her. She was smiling at me as I entered the room. "There you are, I thought you would have talked your way in here first."

"Well you know me, I thought it only fair to save the best for last," I moved over next to her and took the seat that had been my bed the previous evening. "How are you feeling, are you in any pain?"

"You have five minutes with me and that's what you ask me? The same question I've had to answer to my five previous visitors? Come on Castle, dig a little deeper." Her voice was so much stronger today, but she was still weak and was talking quite slowly.

"I can't focus right now, I'm too worried about you."

"Castle?"

"Yes, Kate?"

"I'm scared." I looked at her surprised. The three years I've known her she's always been so strong, and hides her emotions. I've only caught her in a couple of weak moments, but nothing compared to the look she had on her face right now. Her eyes were watery and full of fear. This was one battle she couldn't fight with her gun or her fist, and that was scaring her.

I took her hand between mine and brought it up to my face and gave it a kiss. "Kate, you are the most bravest, strongest, most powerful woman I have ever met. You face everything head on and never let anything get you down. You have never run from a fight yet, so why start now. You have a waiting room filled out there of people that love and care for you. Josh will not let anything go wrong during this surgery, he loves you too much." It killed me to say those last five words.

"Castle, can we talk?" At that moment Ali returned to inform me they had to prepare Kate for surgery.

"Kate, I don't want you to worry about a thing. Everything will go fine, you're in good hands here," with that said I stood up, leaned over and gave her a kiss on the forehead and started to leave. When I reached the door I heard her call my name again, I turned around to face her. "Will you be here when I come back?"

I smiled back at her and told her "there's no place I'd rather be." I watched her for a few more seconds while the nurses started pulling wires, adjusting her bed, putting a cap on her head, then I took my leave and headed back to the waiting area, this was going to be a long day.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:**

**- Thank you to everyone that continues to read this story for your support. I am doing my best to try and keep it as interesting as possible. Seeing the reviews and all the alerts I am getting encourages me to keep writing and really makes me happy.**

**- As I have stated in the beginning of the story, I do not own anything relating to Castle, I just enjoy writing about them for the sole pleasure of writing and being able to get creative.**

Chapter 8: Exploration

I looked down at my watch, it was 2:01. Kate's surgery had started. I was trying to keep a certain image of her in my mind, the way she looked before I left. She always had a shield up around her personal life. She always puts on a strong face around others and never lets them see her in a moment of weakness. Today she had brought that barrier down in front of me. I hated the fact that she was scared, but it made me feel closer to her, that she was finally letting me in.

"Rick, can you please do me a favour?" Jim had returned to the waiting area after being called out a little earlier. I looked in his direction and gave a nod, "of course, anything."

"I was just given back the bag of Kate's clothing, the nurses recommended bringing in some of her personal belongings. They say it helps patients heal when they are surrounded with their own personal items. Also I would like to drop this bag off at her place. It's not something I feel Katie would like to see when she comes out of surgery. I have to deal with something at work, and I want to make it back here as soon as possible. Josh is in with her surgery otherwise I would have asked him."

"Yes of course, I will head on over now, please call me if you hear anything." Jim handed me the bag and a list of a few key items that I should retrieve from Kate's place. After a brief chat with Alexis and my mother I was on my way. I took a taxi over to her apartment as my car was still at home. Even if it had been here I didn't feel like I was in the right mindset to be operating a large vehicle.

The ride took barely ten minutes, the fumbling around with the keys took twice that. I located the keys near the top of the bag in a pocket of Kate's blazer. The key ring held around a dozen keys and the last key you try is always the correct one.

As I opened up her apartment door the spacious room felt overly stuffy. It had been closed up for just a little over 24 hours, but it had a stale smell to the room. The kind of smell that leaves the impression that it had been abandoned and no one was coming back to it any time soon. The last time Kate had left this place was to go to Montgomery's funeral. I headed over to the left where the kitchen was located and placed the bag on the counter. Her breakfast dishes were still in the sink waiting to be washed. The coffee pot had around two cups worth of cold coffee left in it. I took the list out of the bag and headed over to sit on the couch.

In front of the couch on the coffee table two wine glasses sat next to an empty bottle of white wine. A blanket lay in a bundle in the center of the couch. Cuddled up next to the leg of the couch were a few articles of clothing. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened here. I decided I would stay standing by the counter to go over the list.

The list looked like it was a standard one that was handed out to all the patients and not personalized. Most of the items were clothing; a dressing gown, comfy pants, undergarments, slippers, socks…Then they had the more personal hygienic items such as toothbrush, toothpaste, hair brush…All common items a person would need to use on a standard day.

I walked down the hallway to her bedroom. Her bed lay on the left still unmade, to the right was a chest of drawers followed by the door that entered a little bathroom. Directly across from that was another door that must lead to a closet. I headed into her washroom to collect her toothbrush and toothpaste that were both standing up in a cup to the right of the sink. I returned to her room and saw her brush in the middle of her dresser. I started opening drawers in search of a warm pair of socks. The first drawer I opened was t-shirts, the second was odds and ends, but as I was about to close the drawer and continue onto the next a card with a golden retriever puppy sitting with his head down looking up while seated next to a half-eaten pair of slippers caught my eye. Above the photo it was written "I'm Sorry" in a nice cursive font. My curiosity got to me and I had to see what it was about. I opened it and read it quietly to myself,

_Katie, _

_There are no words to describe the intensity of love I feel for you each and every day. Thinking about your beautiful face, hearing your wonderful laugh, or feeling your passionate kiss makes me so grateful that we have found one another. There is not a day that goes by where you are not in my thoughts. When I am away on travel and am not able to see you, I am constantly looking at your photographs to help me get by until I am able to see you again. _

_ I want to apologize for my behaviour last night, I was way out of line. When I got home I was terrified that I had gone too far and you never wanted to see me again. I don't know how I would ever forgive myself if it had led to the end of our relationship. _

_ I know now that I was crazy for thinking anything was going on between you and Richard. It's just that hearing another man paid for two expensive suites in L.A. and gave one to MY girlfriend is a bit hard to comprehend. After everything you said I really thought it over and I can see now he is and will only ever be a good friend to you and nothing more. I am truly sorry for ever doubting that you were unfaithful. _

_ Love you for always, _

_Josh_

I wasn't sure what upset me more, the fact Kate saw me as never being more than a friend, or that she lied to him about our hotel stay. L.A hadn't been that long ago, so this card couldn't have been more than two weeks old. I was done playing this game, we've kissed, we almost died together, and I'm the only one she has really truly let in to the full extent of her mother's case and all of it generates me as is being only a friend and nothing more. I needed space, my heart couldn't take any more of this. It was hard enough seeing her with Josh, or talk about Josh, my feelings were too strong for her and I couldn't go on this way. I opened her cupboard and found a pair of jogging pants, and an oversized zipper sweater. I packed those in with the three other items and grabbed a pair of slippers that was by her bed and figured that would be good enough. I was not in the mood to put much effort into anything more.

I locked up her place and made a quick detour to my house to grab a bite to eat, shower, shave and change into something else to get the gritty hospital feel off of me. Once I'd completed all that I grabbed the bag and headed back over to the hospital. I avoided the waiting area, I wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone. I only had one focus on my mind. I glanced in and saw Alexis fast asleep on my mother's lap. They didn't look like they'd be leaving the hospital any time soon. I went over to the ICU nurse's station and left the bag saying it was for Kathryn Beckett. I checked the time, it was 5:33.

I headed back out of the ICU and spotted Ali sitting at one of the tables. "Hey Mr. Castle, I had a feeling you'd show, I have an hour until my breaks over, how do you want to spend it?" she said seductively.

"We're going to my place."

**A/N: Okay so I know that ending probably upset a few people but I want to emphasize a bit more on Kate's and Josh's relationship for a couple chapters since he is still in the picture for the time being (slight foreshadowing!)**

**Please keep reading and reviewing! :) **


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Betrayal

I watched Ali until the elevator doors closed. I had slipped her a twenty for her cab fare back. I walked into my apartment feeling the need to shower for the third time that day. I felt dirty, so incredibly dirty. Kate was the only one I wanted. But she was in a relationship, I was single. Josh was preforming surgery right now that would save her life, how could she, or any woman, dump someone after that.

I went back into my bedroom and looked in the mirror. There I stood topless, only wearing a pair of boxers. I used to love the attention when all the girls flung themselves at me. I often took advantage of that. But that was behind me. Once Kate came into my life that need to hook up with random women for one night stands was behind me. She was the one and only person I wanted to be with. I didn't care what that card had said, it only means I would have to fight harder to get her. Josh wasn't meant for her, I was. Both she and I knew deep down, we were only meant for each other.

I moved over and sat on the edge of my unmade bed and put my head in my hands. I felt like screaming to get all this frustration out. If there was any possible way to go back in time, I would do or pay anything to be able to go back to leaving the ICU after dropping off Kate's items and then I would just return to the waiting room with everyone else.

I stripped off my boxers and returned to the shower to try and wash away what I had just done. I was going to put this behind me and not let it affect my life right now. It was a stupid moment of weakness where I acted before thinking. I would have to see her when I returned to the ICU but I planned on keeping things very professional between us. I had no interest in her. I wouldn't try and hide this from Kate, nor would I rush to tell her now. I hadn't done anything technically wrong, after all I am single.

At 7:42 I was back in a car headed to the hospital. I stopped by the gift shop and picked out the largest flower bouquet they had and a massive 'Get Well' teddy bear. When I entered the waiting area, my mother, Jim, and Alexis were the only ones that remained. The moment I walked in the three faces just turned and stared at me. The air felt thick and stale. Alexis's eyes were filled with tears. "Wha..is she…everything's going okay in there right?" I stammered trying to get it out.

"She's resting, surgery ended twenty minutes ago, I think it's best if you leave," Jim said in a very cool and rough voice. I stared at him in confusion. Alexis came over to me and hit me in my shoulder. Tears started streaming down her face, "how could you dad! We're waiting here praying surgery goes okay and you're off 'playing around'!"

I looked at her in confusion, then looked at the anger in Jim's eyes, then at my mother who was giving me a look that said "I can't believe you Rick, I'm disappointed in you", it's the look I received when she scolded me. "Alexis, what are you talking about?" I looked back and forth in confusion between the three faces.

" I was walking past the nurse's station after visiting the washroom just as one of the nurses was returning from her break, she entered with a huge grin on her face saying to one of the other nurses how she had just 'bagged' Rick Castle," Alexis explained with tears running down her face. "I love Beckett dad, she's like a mother to me, how could you do this to her!" Her voice started to rise. Martha got up and comforted the young girl.

"Richard darling, I think it's time you go home, we'll make sure she gets the flowers and the bear and keep you posted if anything happens. I recommend going to the Hamptons for a little while," my mother said to me in a stern voice. She didn't seem mad or upset with me, just disappointed with my decisions. I didn't think she was being hard enough on me, I deserved this and so much more. How could I have done it, why had I been so stupid!

I placed the items I had bought down on a nearby chair and took my leave. I took an alternate route and made my way back to Kate's room. I looked in and she was alone so I entered. I went over and sat next to her bed, taking her small hand into mine. "Kate, sweetheart, I want you to know you're the only one for me. I care for you too much to let you go. I may not be here to see you as much over the next little while but please know I care for you deeply and I want the best for you. I understand Josh is your boyfriend, but I know I have your heart. It's time we stop jumping around it, and admit it. I love you Kathryn Beckett, and I always will."

I kissed her hand then placed it gently back on the bed. I stood up and gave her lips a gentle kiss, then her forehead. I watched her sleep for a few more moments, then I headed back to the nurse's station. After a little chat with them I had managed to secure Kate a good sized single room for when she was able to leave ICU. I glanced back in her room, then I left. I wanted to get out of there before I ran into Ali or Kate's father saw I was still there.

Kate's POV

I remember trying to see Rick, and keep my eyes locked on his for as long as possible. I wished he could come in with me and hold my hand, saying little jokes the whole time through the surgery just to keep my mind off it. I was petrified. I had never had a long stay in the hospital. Once when I was 4 I had jumped off the kitchen table trying to be superwoman. That hadn't ended so well. My mother had rushed me to the hospital and found that I had broken my arm. I got to model a cast for the next month.

When I got into the operating room I tried to see what was happening around me before they got the anaesthesia working. A couple of nurses and the 'sand man' were in there, I didn't see any doctors. The next thing I remember after that is feeling tugs at different parts of my body. I couldn't open my eyes yet, I felt like I was sleeping but I could hear what was going on around me. I didn't have the strength to open my eyes and speak. The anaesthesia must be wearing off. I could hear a nurse say to another, "here, put this gown on her". Was I lying there naked? That felt slightly awkward, especially by the sounds of it there was at least 5 or 6 other people in the room besides me.

"Here let me do it," I heard Josh say. Normally it was a nurse's job but I was grateful he was taking the task, after all he was my boyfriend. Then I felt myself being lifted onto another surface, a bed I was guessing and being rolled back into my room. "You're okay babe, surgery's over and you're fine, I'll be back after to check in on you." Josh's words should have been reassuring but I would feel better hearing it from Rick.

After that I lay there for who knows how long, I could feel myself drifting in and out and it felt like I was in a daze. Nurses were coming in now and then poking and prodding me, taking blood temperature, body temperature, monitoring my heart rate and whatever else all the poking was meant for.

Then suddenly I felt someone put my hand in theirs, my whole body tingled. I felt familiar and warm and I knew it was Rick. I tried to open my eyes but I wasn't able yet, my body wouldn't allow me. It was trying to force me into another sleep but I used all my energy to listen to what Rick was saying. I tried to scream or do anything to get my words out. Why wouldn't he be back to see me as much, and he said it again, I love hearing him say those three words. I wanted to respond but even if I could I wouldn't be able to, not yet. Josh was with me and already I was definitely not playing the perfect girlfriend role. I had kissed another guy whose name is constantly coming up in our fights. I may have been undercover, but the heat and passion of that kiss was too intense to say it meant nothing, the way Rick had looked into my eyes and held my face was a feeling I would never forget.

I had planned to end things with Josh after my little 'vacation' with Rick. That night in the hotel I had every intention of being unfaithful, I was ready to be with him and I couldn't deny it anymore. I had walked over to his bedroom and was about to open his door but then my phone had gone off. It had been Josh. If I hadn't heard my phone, that night would have ended very differently.

I felt his lips gently brush mine. Oh how I wish I could have kissed him back. I then drifted off to sleep feeling very good and happy.

**Ricks POV**

As I was approaching the exit I heard someone calling my name, I turned around to see Josh running down the hall trying to catch up to me. I really didn't feel like having to act all buddy buddy with him right now.

"Rick, can we talk for a moment? Over here.." As much as I wanted to talk to him I obliged and followed him through the main entrance where he continued on, "First you try to get my girl, and don't even tell me you weren't trying to get with her, I know you are, I see the way you look at her and the way she looks at you. I had thought Katie and I had finally put our issues with you aside then you have to go and pull this! How could you, I could kill you right now," Josh's temper was rising and I'm sure people from down the block could hear him. Damn it he must of heard my speech to Beckett just now.

"Okay look I'm sorry but I had to tell her what was on my mind…"

"What the hell are you talking about, I'm talking about nurse Davidson," Josh fumed. I caught a glimpse of his name tag before his fist met my face and everything went dark.

Ali was his sister.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Forgiveness**

After I got up close and personal with the pavement I chose to take my mother's advice and head up to the Hamptons. After a quick call to my mother and Alexis I was on my way. I remained there for 12 days. I tried to relax and get my mind off of everything but it was useless, so on the twelfth day I called for my cab and returned home.

When I walked into the loft I spotted Alexis lying on the couch intrigued in whatever she was watching. "Dad, you're home!" Alexis ran over to me once she spotted me and gave me a hug. "How was it in the Hamptons?"

"Not what I expected, how's Kate?" I had a good idea since I had called the hospital every day, but I knew Alexis had been going there religiously.

"She's getting stronger, she was moved to a room so she's able to have better visitation hours and more than one visitor at a time."

"Okay, where's grams? I'm going to head over to the hospital now."

"Grams is out with a few friends, and visitation hours end in like ten minutes."

"If your Richard Castle, visitation hours don't end," I winked at my daughter, kissed the top of her head and headed up to my bedroom. I placed my bags on my bed and walked into my bathroom to freshen up.

I made a quick stop and caught a flower store still open. I picked up a dozen yellow roses. I then headed next door to the 7/11 and picked up one of those soft fluffy pairs of socks. When I reached the hospital I checked my watch and saw it was 9:09, I wasn't too late at least. I went over to the reception and found out that Kate was in room 525. I headed up to the fifth floor and went in search for her room. The corridor was deserted, I saw a few last minute people heading towards the elevators, but for the most part the hallway was empty.

I walked by the nurse's station and made sure I wouldn't get thrown out because it was after 9. Then I went in search for room 525 which I found right at the end of the hallway. I got nervous and wondered if I was able to go through with it. I took a deep breath and went it. When I went in I saw Kate sitting up in a chair with a tray keeping her in. On it she had some crackers and was currently doing what looked like a crossword puzzle. She looked up at me in confusion, "Castle?"

I stared into her eyes, they looked full of pain, and hurt. It killed me because I know I had caused that. "I brought you some flowers, yellow roses are supposed to encourage warmth and happiness, and be a symbol for great friendship."

"So you finally decided to show, where have you been?" Her expression seemed angry.

"I was in the Hamptons."

"Wha..how..why now? You said you'd be here, and you weren't." Her eyes started tearing up.

"I caused enough trouble between you and Josh, it was time for me to keep my distance." Confusion filled her face.

"Why now? Josh isn't your concern, I'll deal with him, I wanted you here, I wanted my partner next to me." I figured it was safe for me to enter her room fully. It was a nice spacious room, since it was on the corner there were windows on two walls which would make it nice and bright during the day. The bathroom seemed to be of a good size as well. Over her bed the television I had requested had been placed for her. "Castle look at me, why weren't you here? Everyone has been coming to see me, Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, your mother, your daughter, my dad, Josh, but not you."

I moved over and placed the flowers on her night stand that was next to her bed then pulled a folding chair up next to her. "I'm sure Josh has told you by now what happened. I didn't want to have to face you after what I did." I looked down. I was too ashamed to even look at her.

"Castle what did you do?" I avoided looking at her, I wasn't prepared to tell her, I didn't know how to get it out. "Rick, what did you do?" Her voice was as strong as ever and she was using her stern police voice on me, which made it difficult to avoid her.

"I…I umm I was with someone else, I slept with a nurse who turned out to be Josh's sister." I looked up at her and saw she was a bit taken away with it and hurt was showing in her face. "Kate you have to realize I wasn't thinking, I saw a card that Josh had written to you when I was trying to find you a pair of socks and it made me realize that we would never be more than friends. You're in a committed relationship and I should stop holding on to our kiss and move on and just be grateful for our friendship because that means more to me than I can ever explain. I don't want to ever lose you as a friend."

"I don't understand why you felt the need to sleep with a nurse, but then again there's a lot about you that I don't understand. Why did you think I wouldn't want to see you? You're single, and you're a friend, nothing more, you are free to do as you please." Her tone had changed, she seemed to be getting more distant.

"I also was not aware it was Josh's sister until his fist told my face." I looked back to the ground, not sure what I should be saying. Then I could have sworn I heard a giggle. I looked up at her and saw that she was trying to hold back her laughter. "What's so funny?"

"You deserved it you know." I gave her a confused look. "getting punched in the face I mean, well maybe not to that extent, but if you had ever slept with my little sister I would have made sure your jack in the box stayed in the box." She looked at me with a playful grin on her face.

"Ouch detective Beckett I am shocked to hear you speak that way." I put my right hand over my heart pretending to be in shock.

"Oh shut up Castle, I'm getting stir crazy in here."

"So we're good?" I asked praying for a good answer.

"We will be if you promise me you won't go snooping through my drawers again," she tilted her head slightly to the side and gave me a little smile.

"Hey your dad gave me a list of things to get you and I was trying to find them all. So technically it was not my fault."

"Oh right because the second drawer just happened to open and a card just flew in front of your face and forced you to read it?"

"I was searching for socks, it happens."

"Then where are my socks Castle? My feet are freezing in here!"

"I couldn't find your socks but I did pick you up a pair on my way over." I dug into the inner pocket of my jacket and pulled out the fluffy purple socks I had bought earlier and handed them over. God she was amazing. Here she was smiling and laughing with me, I thought she would be tearing my head off. She was only wearing a hospital gown, and slippers but she looked so beautiful. Her face was glowing, her smile was perfect, and her laughter was music to my ears.

"Thank you Castle, and thank you for this, all of this," she moved her arms around indicating the room we were seated in. "I know you had something to do with it, my Medicare only covers a standard double room, not a spacious single with a nice view."

"Fine you caught me, I wanted you to be comfortable during your stay here."

"I am much more comfortable now," she said with a smile as she looked into my eyes.

For the next hour and a half we just sat there and talked and joked around about anything and everything ranging from television shows to Esposito and Ryan. She was grateful to be connected with what was going on in the "outside world" as she said. Being stuck in a hospital room you tend to miss out on a lot. A nurse had come in several times to check on Kate and her vitals, she had tried to get her back in bed but Kate kept refusing. When it was almost 11 pm I noticed Kate getting really drowsy and thought it time to take my leave, she needed her sleep and wouldn't as long as I was here. "Come on Kate, let me help you into bed, it's late and you need your sleep, I'll come back in the morning, I promise."

"Why Richard Castle trying to get me into bed, what a shocker!" She smiled at me sleepily while she motioned to me where to hold her so I wouldn't hurt her. I removed the table then I carefully slid my right arm under her knees and my left arm around the small of her back while she put her arms around my neck. Her skin was incredibly soft. As I lifted her gently off the chair her face moved closer to mine while she held onto my neck. For a moment I just stood there with her in my arms, taking in her beautiful scent. Our eyes locked on each other. I started to move my face closer to hers then I snapped back to reality. I walked with her over to her bed and lay her down. I put her socks on for her as she was not capable of bending over, then I covered her with her blankets.

"Rick, would you mind staying? I've missed you."

"There's no place I'd rather be than right here with you," she smiled and her eyes closed. I went over to her and kissed her on her forehead, "goodnight Kate, sleep well." I stepped out into the hall and made a quick call to Alexis to make sure grams was home and everything was okay, then I returned to the room and sat in the chair Kate had been in and had the best sleep I have had in the past two weeks.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you all for continuing to read my story I hope you'll keep enjoying it! In this chapter it is from Kate's POV.**

Chapter 11: Lost

_"What's up?" Castle looked at me in eagerness._

_ "Look I know I'm not the easiest person to get to know, and I don't always let on what's on my mind, but this past year working with you, I...I've had a really good time."_

_ "Yeah, me too." _

_ "So, I'm just going to say this and pray I don't make a fool out of myself. Rick I have feelings for you, strong feelings, and I want to see where it will lead."_

_ "What about Demming?"_

_ "I broke up with him, I'm free to be with you now, I need to be with you now." Rick put his right hand around the back of my neck and the other on my lower back and pulled me in close to him. I could smell his cologne, it smelled incredible, and drove me wild. Our lips touched and it sent tingles right through my body. I allowed my tongue to tour his mouth while he explored mine. He moved his hands down until he reached my legs and lifted me up onto a nearby table. He reached for my top and started undoing the buttons revealing my black bra as he went on. He kissed his way down to my belly button then returned to my lips for more. I had to feel him, he was driving me crazy. I reached for his pants but a strong pressure pulsing on my arm jolted me back to reality. _

I woke up with a jolt and covered in beads of sweat. A nurse was standing over me taking my blood pressure looking at me worried. I smiled and waved my hand slightly showing her I was fine, she looked at my stats and seemed to be satisfied so she left. I closed my eyes trying to continue the dream from where it had left off but I couldn't make it happen.

I looked over and saw Castle slumped down in the chair still sound asleep. I looked back up at the ceiling and replayed that scene over again in my head. In reality that scene was cut in half by his ex-wife joining in and taking him away. That had also taken place over a year ago. A lot had changed since then. We'd kissed, we'd almost died, we'd fought like a couple, we had also flirted like crazy.

"_I know you crawled up inside your mother's murder and didn't come out, I know you hide there, the same way you hide in these dead end relationships with men you don't love, you could be happy Kate, you deserve to be happy, but you're afraid." _Rick's words rang through my head. I had been hearing them repeatedly since the day he said them. He was right but I couldn't admit it, I was too stubborn to admit it, it was easier just to make him leave. That night after he left I cried at what an ass I had made of myself. I called Lanie over and we had drank an entire bottle of wine amongst the two of us. When she left I just striped down there and slept on the couch. I usually have a good tolerance for alcohol but wine is my weakness.

I looked back over at Rick and thought to myself, would I ever be brave to give it up and admit my true feelings for him, would I ever push my stubbornness aside and tell him he was right? I was hiding, from life. I was scared to get involved with someone and love them with all my heart and have them torn away from me like my mother was. I'm terrified of having to be put through that again, I wasn't strong enough, I couldn't live through it all again, I also couldn't bear the thought of being alone.

Looking at Rick I knew he was everything I ever wanted in a relationship. He was kind, caring and loving. He was always there when I needed someone to talk to or help me through a tough ordeal. He was the only one I felt safe including in my mother's murder. He could finish my sentences, which does get annoying every now and then but is very cute at the same time. He had saved my life more times than I can count, he always had my back. Also a major plus was he was incredibly hot. I smiled to myself while I turned and looked at the roses he had brought for me. They were beautiful. I was most terrified that if we did get serious and we didn't work out, I'd lose his friendship. Without him around my life felt empty, scary and lonely.

"Kate, are you awake?" He whispered while I heard him stirring in his chair. I turned my head to look at him. "Yeah, I'm awake."

"Have you awake long, why didn't you wake me?"

"You looked peaceful, uncomfortable, but peaceful, I didn't want to disturb you. I've just been lying here thinking about stuff." He got up and anxiously moved his chair closer, eagerness filled his face like I was just about to tell him the most fascinating story of all time.

"Anything you care to share?" I thought back to the steamy part of my dream and pictured him removing his shirt showing me his broad chest. I shook that thought out of my mind, what was wrong with me, I have a boyfriend, I should be dreaming about him, gosh.

"Rick I just want to say how truly sorry I am for how I spoke to you the night Montgomery was shot. I was speaking out of anger, I don't want you to stop coming to the precinct, I want you to stay my partner."

"I know you didn't mean it, I was being harsher than I meant to be. I was just hoping to scare you out of involving yourself in this case. The numbers aren't good, everyone's dead, as far as we know only you and 'him' are left. He's powerful, he wants you dead."

"I'm not going to stop trying to find him, I have to for my mother, and now for Roy. I need that closure in my life. As soon as I'm out of this hospital I'm getting those files from the precinct and going over them a thousand and one more times if I have to. There had to be something I missed." My mother's case was holding me back a lot. She was becoming a distant memory and I hated that. I couldn't smell her anymore, I couldn't remember a lot of her little quirks. It scared me that soon she might just be a photograph to me with a few memories attached. If I solved her case, maybe then I'd finally feel free to open myself up to loving someone and really meaning it.

"Kate you're crazy if you think you're getting back into this case, he got to you, he shot you, you could have been killed. This is you're second chance at changing your mind, take it, what's it going to take to show you that you can't win this one. Your dad wants you to step away, so do I. I want you to find your mother's killer but this is beyond your control. Back off of it, do it for your dad, for Lanie, do it for…do it for me, Kate." His eyes looked into mine pleading with me to say yes. A few minutes passed in silence before I broke it, "I can't Castle, I'm not dropping it."

He stared at me with anger forming on his face, I knew this fight wasn't over, it was for now, but it would continue as soon as I was released. We were in a hospital and my stress level was to stay low. He sat back in his chair and didn't say another word, all the while keeping his eyes focused on mine. I hated to upset him, but he wasn't winning this one. I was in this case till the end.

Josh walked into the room at that moment and looked over at Castle suspiciously. "Do you mind giving me a few moments with Katie?" I watched his face, it was killing him to say yes, but he obliged with a slight smile, mouthed to me he'd be back later on then he left. Once Josh felt he was gone he shifted his focus to me. "How are you feeling babe, and I'm asking you as a caring boyfriend not a doctor." He asked me while he sat down in the chair Rick had just vacated and took my hand.

"It's sore but the pills are making me feel incredible, so just keep'em coming." I smiled at him.

He laughed nervously then continued on to say, "That's what I'm here to talk to you about. I got a call from one of my friends down in Ethiopia, they really need my help down there. I have a flight booked for tonight. If you say no I'll postpone the trip a few days until you are feeling a bit better."

A few days? Wow, I can tell my feelings come first. He cares more about his patients than me. I wanted him around, I needed him to help me through this, but I knew that there was no way I could say no, if I did all I'd be dealing with is him constantly checking his watch and asking me how I'm feeling, the second I'd say good, he'd be on the next flight to Africa. I didn't want to have to go through recovery having the constant reminder that I was second in his life. "No it's fine, if you're needed you should go, please call me when you get a chance and let me know you got there safely."

"I will when I can, bye Katie," He gave me a quick kiss on the lips and then he was gone, he didn't even leave me with a "be careful", or a "please watch your back", all I got was a peck on the lips and a "bye Katie". I closed my eyes and tried to think of a happy memory.

I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes again my dad and Rick were standing in the corner of the room discussing something in a very serious manner, I tried to listen in but all I could catch was a "safety", "house", "guard" and "Katie", that's when I butt in. "Do you guys mind not talking about me when I'm right here please?" I said in a semi angry tone. I hate when people talk about me as if I'm not there.

"Sorry sweetie we're planning your new living arrangements," my dad said in a rushed tone, he was clearly worried. I looked back and forth between the two of them suspiciously, "my NEW living arrangements? I have a perfectly good apartment which I have full intention of returning to once I'm released."

"Actually you won't be, at least not anytime in the near future. The hospital has made it very clear to me that you are not to be left alone in your condition." My dad responded.

"What's he got to do with this?" I motioned in Castle's direction. They looked at one another and I didn't need a response, I knew what they were going to say. "No, no no no no no! You've got to be kidding, you don't expect me to live with him do you?"

"Honey it's the safest answer in this situation, Josh is gone so you're not able to stay with him, I live further away and won't be able to stay with you 24/7. Rick can work from home so he can be with you whenever you need him, his building is extremely secure, plus he has already called in some added security to ensure your safety. Also if ever he is unavailable Martha and Alexis are right there to help."

"This is like a nightmare, please tell me I'm dreaming. How long is this expected to go on for?"

"The doctor has told me minimum 6 weeks recovery before returning to the office work, and at least 3 months until you are able to go back to battling the bad guys."

"Haha my ass that's going to happen. There is no way in hell I am sitting around letting him wait on me hand and foot for three freaking months."

"It may be longer depending on what you're boss believes is best for you. I put a call through but I won't be able to reach the new captain until Monday. It will be their choice on whether you return in 6 weeks or they could make it even later."

"When am I to be released?"

"Tomorrow morning."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thank you to my faithful readers that are keeping to this story and all those that are putting this story on alerts. It means so much to me **

**I have been so busy and have had no time to write. I am so happy I have a bit more time now and can get back into my story. I have a lot of new ideas that I am going to put into the story. I hope you guys enjoy! **

**Please keep reading and reviewing! **

**Chapter 12: Protection**

The next morning I reached the hospital by taxi at 6:30 sharp. Kate was to be released later on in the day but her father and I wanted to make sure she didn't do anything she wasn't supposed to do. When I reached her room Jim was already seated on Kate's bed, Kate was nowhere in sight.

"She's a stubborn one, has been since the day she was born. She refused to let me help her dress, she's in the washroom now", Jim said when he saw me scanning the room. I looked at him in more confusion waiting for a further explanation. "Nurse came in this morning to say she was good to go, they didn't see any reason to keep her any longer here," Jim continued.

"That's great, I'll make some calls and have a car ready to pick her up," I answered. Jim and I had discussed how to transport her where she would be most protected. We had not gone over with Kate how it would be happening, as we knew she would not be a fan of our idea.

"Dad! I changed my mind, help please…" I heard her voice coming from behind the bathroom door. I looked over at Jim to see an 'I told you so' grin on his face while he made his way over to the bathroom.

By 6:52 we had the car all packed up and were making our final trip down with Kate in a wheel chair. It had taken three nurses to convince her that it was hospital policy and she had to leave in a wheel chair. The whole way down she made it known how unimpressed she was.

"Castle we're stopping by my apartment on the way back. I need to pick up some things."

"Name it and I'll drop by after and get it all for you." I responded back to her hoping it would be that easy.

"I may not have the strength to return to work at this moment but believe you me I am trained very well for combat, just off the top of my head I can think of six different ways to cause an unbearable amount of pain to you," I saw her glance down at my manhood, "we are going to my apartment." To save myself the pain, and keep the option open at future children I thought it best to give into her on this one.

As we went through the exit I could feel the tension grow in Kate. She started squirming in her seat and turned her head to look at me in confusion. Parked in front of the hospital was a large navy blue van with tinted windows. Jim was standing in front of it next to a largely built African American man. The man looked to be in his late thirties, and around 6'5". As it seemed to register on her face what was happening I could see the anger grow on her face as she gave me a long hard glare.

"Kate this is Carter," I stopped her wheel chair about four feet away from the van and moved to face her. " The precinct gave me his name. He was a pro wrestler for five years, he's been on the police force for twenty years, and on his spare time he is a body guard for several banks and high class clubs on the Upper East Side and has been for nearly 15 years. Ryan and Esposito have run several background checks and he's clean. Not even a parking ticket. He is always armed with a gun at all times. With him around, you're in safe hands. Sam, who you will meet later, will be his partner. He has a similar background and also is clean. He has served for 30 years as a bodyguard to some of the most prestigious people in America. They will work on twelve hour rotating shifts for as long as necessary."

"You hired me a personal body guard!"

"Kate say Hi to Carter," She gave me an icy glare, "it's for your own safety. Your father is in full agreement."

"We're stopping by my place so I can pick up a few things." She said stubbornly refusing to discuss the bodyguard anymore. "Help me into the car," I started to put an arm out, "not YOU, you." She nodded in her father's direction.

When Kate was safely seated in the back seat, I seated myself in the middle. We said our goodbyes to Jim, then Carter started the engine and we headed over to Kate's apartment.

When we reached Kate's building Carter made sure to loop around the block a couple times to make sure we weren't being followed and that no one suspicious was sitting in any of the cars nearby. When he felt it was safe, he helped us out and lead the way up with me bringing up the rear.

I handed the key over that Jim had given to me and Carter went in and told us to wait by the door. When he seemed satisfied he started heading back to the door. "I'll be right out here, lock this behind me and open it under no circumstance." With that he headed outside and I locked the door behind him.

"This is all too unreal," Kate said while looking off out the window.

"Everything will be fine you know, we're doing everything we can to make sure of that."

"No, not that, you, him, my dad. You are all taking away my freedom, my space, my life. I'm a cop I can protect myself." She was getting agitated, frustrated that there was nothing she could do to get out of this situation.

"Like you protected yourself at the Roy's funeral?"

She let out a sigh and shook her head. "That's a low blow."

"This is over your head, you can't protect yourself from him. He's too powerful. He wants you dead. He knows you're still alive, he'll try and kill you again."

She turned violently towards me, "DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT!" Her voice rose much higher. "I need to find my mother's killer, I can't go on…"

"Kate its turned into your obsession, you can't do this anymore, drop it!" I tried to keep my voice level. I didn't want to raise my voice to her, she had enough going on in her life. She didn't need me yelling back at her. "Please…" I pleaded once again.

"Richard back off and stay out of it, this is not your business anymore. I'm going at th..is.." She stopped short and winced then leaned up against the wall moving her hand to her stomach.

"Are you okay?" I asked worriedly while I rushed over next to her.

"Ya, it's just a bit painful, the drugs must be wearing off."

"Here sit down here for a minute and rest," I put my arm around her back and helped guide her to her couch to sit down. She closed her eyes for a few seconds while keeping her hand on her stomach. We sat in silence for a little while.

"It's safe to sit down you know, it's not what you think." She must have seen me eyeing the two wine glasses that still sat side by side on the coffee table accompanied by the bottle. Clothing still hugged the couch. I looked at her with curiosity.

"Lanie and I had a girls night," I raised my eyebrow up thinking the dirtiest of thoughts. "No not like that, we drank, she went home, I slept on the couch, end of story," I still had a smile glued on my face at the thought of a girls night.

"So did you girls embark in a lovely round of pillow fighting? And do you have pictures of proof for this said evening?" I got a glare in response.

Carter abruptly rushed in to the room, phone still in hand. "We have to get out of here right now. An armed man entered the hospital headed directly to your room. The person that had been placed in that room was shot dead. When the shooter realized it wasn't you he held a nurse at gun point and demanded to know where you are. He shot the nurse in the leg when she wouldn't respond. He knows that you signed out this morning, and he knows where you live. We need to leave the premises now!"

**A/N: Only 14 days until season 4! **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I do not own Castle or anything affiliated with it. I just enjoy writing stories regarding them. **

Chapter 13: Safe Haven

Within minutes we were back in the van heading towards my loft. We didn't waste any time getting out of the apartment, Kate grabbed her gun that was in a drawer near the exit, and we were out of there.

Carter drove quickly to my loft taking several detours while keeping an eye out all around us to ensure no one was tailing us. I made a call to the head of security of my building and had them open up the back entrance for us. We used the loading elevator to head up to my floor. Once I closed the door behind us, locked the deadbolt, and slid the chain into place I breathed a sigh of relief.

Carter headed immediately into my office where he had set up his 'spy' station. Cameras had been placed at all the entrances on the main floor, inside of the elevator as well as outside of it on the first and my floor, there was also a camera hidden at each end of my hallway as well as one that had a perfect view of my front door. All cameras were very tiny and were hidden in locations such as plants and portraits where they were not visible.

In my office Carter had set up a work area that consisted of a large keyboard, and two television screens. On the first screen it was divided into eight boxes which showed what each camera was seeing. The second screen alternated between each video showing then in large, it also opened the camera he chose to watch.

"Alexis, mother, are you home?" I called out as I put my arm around Kate and helped her over to the couch. "Are you okay, do you need anything?" I looked at Kate after she was seated. She was good at covering up her feelings, but I could tell it had frightened her. If she had left the hospital when she was supposed to, she could have been dead.

"Thanks, Castle, just my purse please, I need to take my medication." I headed over to the entrance and picked up her purse, luckily we had picked up her prescriptions at the hospital before we left. The doctor had ordered her to take it easy for the next few weeks, and to avoid high stress situations. Luckily a lot of the meds would make her drowsy and make it much easier to keep her stress level down.

"Alexis, mother!" I called again as I poured a glass of water which I handed over to Kate. "Richard darling, there is no need to shout, you could wake the dead like that," Martha said as she made her way down the stairs spotting Kate seated on the couch. "Kathryn dear, how are you feeling, can I get you anything?"

"Thanks Martha, I have all I need right here," Kate responded lifted her glass up and motioning to her medications that were now laying on the coffee table.

"If you need anything please don't hesitate to ask."

"Where's Alexis, I told her I didn't want her out of this house today under any circumstance," I looked at my mother waiting for a response.

"She's in the shower, she probably didn't hear you, she'll be down shortly, now what do you say for some lunch." Martha smiled towards me motioning me towards the kitchen.

"There's been another attack, things are getting worse."

"What's getting worse," Alexis asked as she rushed down the stairs and headed over to where Martha and I were standing. "I do not want either of you to leave the loft without telling me. It's for your own safety." I saw the fear creep over my mother's face as I filled them in about what had happened at the hospital. Alexis clung to my side in fear that we were all in danger.

Alexis and Martha helped make lunch, which was more of a brunch because it was only eleven am. We ate in a picnic style around the coffee table so Beckett wouldn't need to move too much. We all ate in silence, no one in the mood for small talk. Eventually my phone rang breaking the silence.

"Castle" I answered.

"Hey bro, something's happened, can you talk alone?" I recognized Esposito's voice instantly on the other end. He didn't sound himself, they must have heard about the hospital.

"Connelly! What's up dude, still crying over your poker loss?" I looked around the room to see if they were buying it, then casually made my way over to my room. "Okay, tell me what you got," I said when I was safely in the confines of my bedroom. I waited for him to tell me about the hospital.

"Twenty minutes ago we received a call from a woman claiming her husband, who's a landlord, had received a call from someone stating they had misplaced their key and needed access into an apartment. The man claimed to be a relative and was sent to pick up some urgent items. Thirty minutes later the wife went to see what was taking her husband so long and found him dead in the apartment."

"That's horrible, but I don't want to leave Kate here, I'll pass on this one."

"That's not why I'm calling,"

"Okay, why are you telling me this then?"

"It was Beckett's apartment." My phone slipped out of my hands and went crashing to the floor. I had to put my arm out to balance myself. It took me a few seconds before I was able to regain myself, I bent down and picked up my phone.

"What did they want in there?" My voice sounded shaky. That was the second time today we had narrowly dodged the killer.

"We're not sure yet, I'll keep you posted as we hear anything. We will need to talk to Beckett about this. We'll pass by later on, we'll be in touch."

"Dad are you okay? I heard a crash," I could hear Alexis's rushed voice at my door.

I went to my door and opened it, "Yes sweetheart, I'm just clumsy." She didn't look convinced but she took it anyways. I put my arm around her and we walked back into the living room to finish our meal. I couldn't bear to look at Kate. What was I to do. How was I to keep my family safe?

**Few hours later**

After lunch Kate wanted to rest on the couch, Alexis was upstairs on the phone with Ashley, and mother had retired to her room to rehearse for a new play she was set to audition for in the coming days. I had made my escape quickly and closed myself in my room. I spent the entire time thinking up what to do in this situation. There was so much on the line and one wrong choice could be fatal. After a few hours I had finally come up with a plan that seemed to be in the best interest for everyone.

I quietly left my room and made my way next door to confer with Carter. I told him about Kate's apartment and he told me too many people were in danger. We discussed plans and finally came up with a solution. Now was the difficult time, telling everyone.

When I emerged from the office I found Kate still on the couch, her eyes closed, the television still on, remote on the couch next to her.

I walked over to the kitchen and took out a root beer. I longed to take a shot of whisky which was sitting right next to it. It was only 1:30 in the afternoon, but it was late enough for me. It was going to be a long night. I resisted temptation, that might ease the issues now but I would still have to deal with everything when I would sober up.

"I'll take some if you're offering," I turned quickly to see Kate taking a seat on the other side of the counter. I grabbed another root beer then closed the fridge. "I meant the whisky, but that will also do." She gave me a smile as I turned back. I grabbed two glasses from the cupboard, then added some ice to each before pouring the root beer. "Tell me what's going on Castle."

"What, nothing," it was hard to know how to respond to a cop. She knows the tricks to get people out of their lies. How was I supposed to keep this from her.

"Tell me now, I know something's up. You left the room too quickly when you got a call. You haven't been the same since. You're too quiet, quiet's not you. Did they find something about my shooter?" She reached for one of the glasses and took a sip.

"Uh, no…There's something I need to tell you, Esposito called." I watched her clench up a bit wondering how much worse this could get. "Someone faked a relation to you to get into your apartment. Once your landlord arrived to let them him, he was killed." I watched as her face searched for the right emotion. She seemed surprised, mad, sad, now she looked scared. It was becoming more real to her.

"Do the guys know what they wanted yet?" She looked down at her glass trying to organize her thoughts.

"No, that was all they knew, they're going to pass by after to talk to you about what might have been taken from there."

"Oh good you're up, I need someone to help run lines with…what's wrong, what happened?" Martha started as she was walking down the stairs. She saw our faces and knew something was up.

"Mother can you go get Alexis, I need to talk to you both." She nodded worriedly and headed back upstairs. Within seconds the two of them were coming down the stairs looking at me curiously.

"What's going on dad?" Alexis looked at me with her big blue eyes.

"There's been another attack on Kate, this time at her apartment. Her landlord has been murdered." They both looked shocked and not sure what to say. "Carter advised both of you to leave. There are too many people here in danger and.."

"Dad no! That's crazy, I'm not leaving you!" Alexis interrupted me to yell at me.

"Alexis, both of you being here is just putting two more innocent lives in danger. Carter wants both of you out of here as soon as possible. He's making phone calls, a car will be here to pick you up at 3 and bring you to the Hampton's."

"It's not fair, I don't want to go, I won't go. I don't want to leave you alone!" Alexis now had tears forming in her eyes. It killed me to see her like that, but it was for the best. I had to keep her safe.

"Darling do you really think this is necessary?" My mother looked at me with worry.

"Yes, it is. Now please go pack." They started up the stairs, my mother stopped and turned to look at me. "Don't worry, I'll be fine." I tried my best to give a convincing reassuring smile. They continued on up the stairs.

"Please, let me go talk to her. Maybe I can help." Kate said, I didn't want to say yes, but I knew I was already getting my way with everything else, this is one thing I could give her. I didn't want to leave things on bad terms with Alexis. I nodded and watched her as she slowly made her way upstairs.

**Alexis's room, Kate's POV**

"Alexis, can I come in?" I knocked on the door as Alexis moved to place something in her suitcase. She gave me a quick glance then mumbled something as she went to pick up a few more items of clothing. "I know this is difficult for you…"

"Difficult for me?" She cut me off and turned around to face me. "I didn't grow up with a mom and dad, but my life was perfect in its own weird way. I love my dad, and he is everything to me, he's my best friend. All I ever had to worry about was him getting paper cuts each day before he started following you around. Now since you came along my father has been put in more life and death situations than I can count…"

"Alexis, please, I…"

"No, let me finish! All you care about is finding your mother's murderer. I don't mean to sound cold but she's already dead, and if you keep digging into it my dad and you will end up dead too. If dad's gone I have nothing. Grams is great and I see my mother occasionally, but they are not my dad. I'm tired of having to sit back and watch while you put his life in danger. I want you to stay away from him!"


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

Kate returned back down looking a bit more out of sorts that she had when she left. I asked her if everything went okay she claimed everything would be fine and that she was just tired. She now walked hunched over with her right hand over her injury. I could tell she was in pain, there was no way I would be letting her use the stairs more than necessary. I helped her over to the couch where we sat in silence until a knock was heard on the door. Within seconds Carter was exiting my office saying it was the car service here to pick up my mother and daughter.

"Mother, Alexis," I called up the stairs, "your ride is here."

Everything was rushed after that, they were ushered out the door almost immediately after entering the entrance area. Alexis gave me a quick hug, and pulled me in close and whispered in my ear "promise me you'll be safe. Don't walk in to the path of danger, it finds us too often." I gave her a reassuring smile, then after promising mother that I would keep in contact often to let her know I was safe, they were on their way.

With them gone and Carter back in my office with the door closed, everything felt to quiet, it felt eerie. Almost like the calm before the storm. "If you don't mind, I would like to lie down now, maybe take a shower. I need some time to relax and clear my head". Kate said breaking the silence.

"Of course, take all the time you need. I'll show you to my bedroom." I stood up and put my arm out to help her up but I caught her giving me an evil glare. "Don't worry I'll be staying in the guest room. It's upstairs, I want you to avoid the stairs. Plus in my room you have your own personal bathroom. As well as you have Carter right next door for safety." I could tell she wasn't sure but she got up anyways as I led her to the room next to my office.

**Castle's Room, Kate's POV**

The pain in my stomach was getting to be unbearable. I checked my watch and saw that it was time for my next medication. I was so exhausted, I needed to get some sleep. It was not like I didn't want to sleep in Castle's room, I just felt awkward taking away his place. His mother and daughter having to leave was already my fault. How much more would I have to take away from him in all of this?

I could feel his hand on the small of my back leading me into his room. He stood so close to me I could smell his expensive cologne. I wanted to just grab on to him and have him hold me close. I was so scared inside but I couldn't show it. I'm a trained cop, I'm trained to be able to hide my fear. Inside, however, all I wanted to do was have him hold me tight while I cry my feelings out. A good cry was what I needed right now.

Castle moved his arm to my upper back and lead me over to his king sized bed. He helped me sit down then went over into the bathroom. The bed was extremely comfortable, I knew once I fell asleep it would be terribly hard for me to get out of this bed. Rick returned back into the room saying he had put some fresh towels out on the counter for me and that he would be in the living room if I needed anything.

When I saw the door close behind him I slowly made my way over to the washroom. I turned on the faucet to the shower. I made sure it was on very hot. Having only sponge baths in the hospital, I felt dirtier than I ever had in my life. I crossed my hands in front of me and grabbed hold of my sweater and started pulling upwards. Stretching my arms up pulled at the newly made stitches, and made it extremely painful. I cried out in pain when I tried.

"Kate is everything okay? Are you okay?" I could hear Rick's worried voice at the bathroom door.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just having trouble with my clothes." I tried again and this time ended up falling back against the sink the pain was so bad.

"Kate I'm coming in, I can hear that you are in a lot of pain. Let me help."

"No! Castle stay out there, do not come in." I tried for a third time, after all third times a charm. This time I couldn't stand it and fell to the ground clutching my stomach. I heard the door open and close behind me. Then I felt Castle's warm hand on my lower back.

"Kate take it easy. Let me help you. I promise I won't look." He softly took my arm and helped me up. My scar was burning like crazy, it hurt so bad. I wanted to push him away but he smelt so good, and made me feel so safe, and my body ached for a shower. I nodded slowly.

His arms moved up and he placed one on each of my shoulders. He turned me to face away from him and led me right in front of the shower. His hands slid down my back until they reached the bottom of my sweater. He then made his way up until I felt his soft hands on my bare arms. He carefully moved my arms through the sleeves. "Cross your arms over your chest".

Once I did as he said his hands reached for the hem of the sweater once again and he moved it over my head. I looked down, baggy grey sweat pants and a beige bra that was at least ten years old. Definitely not the attire that I wore in my fantasies with him. He placed my sweater on the counter, then he unclipped my bra making sure my straps stayed on my shoulders. "I think you can take it from here, call if you need any more help," he whispered into my ear.

I heard the door open and close behind me. I stood in the same spot with my arms covering my chest for another few minutes before I turned around to see if he was still there. With his hands touching me and the scent of his cologne everything that was happening had escaped my mind. I longed for him to come back in, I wanted to feel his hands on my body again. Make me feel safe and secure. After a few moments I realized that wasn't going to happen. I let my arms fall down which also let my bra fall off. I undid the tie on my pants and finished getting undressed. I then stepped into the shower.

The water was much hotter than it should be but it felt so good pouring over my body. I stood still just enjoying the feeling for several minutes. It was hard to get my mind off of Rick. His touch felt so good, so right. He was such an amazing guy, he was going entirely out of his way just to ensure my safety.

About half an hour later I finished up, turned off the shower and stepped out. I picked up one of the towels off of the counter that had been left out for me and wrapped myself in it. It was cashmere, Rick definitely never went for the cheap stuff. It felt amazing on my skin, I had never owed a towel so soft.

I found a comb beside the sink and brushed my hair with it. I would need to pick up some supplies at some point. I had no hairbrush, toothbrush, or even a change of clothes. I replaced the comb and opened the bathroom door. Laying down on the bed was a very thick pink robe. On top lay a note saying:

"_This will probably be easier to maneuver for the time being,_

_Sleep well,_

_Rick"_

I smiled as I read the note. I let the towel fall to the floor and I picked up the robe. It was also cashmere. I put it on and instantly felt warm and cozy. On the night stand was a bottle of water and my purse. I found my pills and placed them on my tongue while I opened the water bottle and washed them down. I slid my feet under the covers and was asleep in seconds in his silk sheeted bed.

_I felt someone standing next to me, rubbing my arm. I turned over and looked up to see Rick standing over me asking if I was feeling okay. He sat down next to me on the bed. I moved my arm to where my bullet wound was waiting to feel the searing pain as I moved to sit up, but it wasn't there. I looked back at Rick in confusion, he was now sitting next to me in a tuxedo. Wow did he ever look great. I looked down to see if I could see my scar but instead I saw my bare stomach without a mark on it, not even a bruise. I was wearing a very expensive looking red lace Victoria Secret bra with matching underwear. I was also in a pair of silver stilettos. _

_ Rick's hand swept my hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear. He moved his hand down my arm, never taking his eyes off of me. "You are so beautiful, Kate, I love you, I love you Kate," he showed me his gorgeous smile._

_ I tried to open my mouth to respond but something held me back. I couldn't form the words. I saw his eyes looking into mine searching for my response. "Rick, I love…" before I could finish the bedroom door swung open. Standing in the entrance way was a masked silhouette. It was too dark in the room to see if it was a male or female. All I could see was the gun he was holding that was facing in my direction. "Say hello to your mommy when you see her for me won't you?" I heard him say. _

_ I lay there frozen not able to move. I heard the gun fire and it went in slow motion. I could see it coming towards me, Rick then jumped in front of me and took the bullet. I looked up and the gunman was gone. I leaped off the bed and saw Rick laying there in a pool of blood gasping for air. "Rick, no… please, I lov…e you, Ric…k don't l…leave me," I sobbed and tried to get the words out. I held onto his hand and felt his grip weaken until it fell. "No!" I screamed._

"No! Stop No!"

"Kate, Kate relax, it was a bad dream, Kate what happened?" I felt a searing pain in my stomach. I could smell the familiar cologne close to my face. I felt a warmth surround me. I grabbed onto it tightly. After a few moments when I got my breath back, I opened my eyes and saw a familiar set of arms holding me tightly. My hands were grabbing onto them. I turned my head and saw Rick staring into my eyes with a worried look. "Kate, what happened, are you okay?"

"Uh, I..it..dream…"

"Shh shh, don't worry, just relax, take a deep breath."

"Please don't let go, I'm scared Rick."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who is continuing on reading this story I have a lot more ideas for the next few chapters and can't wait to get them posted, now all I need is time to write them!**

**This chapter will also be still in Kate's POV.**

Chapter 15: Reality Confusion

When I awoke again I felt much more relaxed and well rested. I opened my eyes and saw an extra set of arms in front of me. I took in a deep breath of his cologne, it smelt so incredible and relaxed me. It took me a few seconds to refocus my memory of my whereabouts. I remembered my horrible nightmare the night before. I remember Castle comforting me when I woke up. Thank goodness he was okay. Was it a sign that I was waiting too long to admit my feelings for him? We never had talked about his final words to me before I passed out after the shooting.

I suddenly became very aware I was only wearing a robe with nothing underneath. I also was not a single woman, and he was Castle, what was I doing? I couldn't bring myself to push him away. I felt so warm and comfortable and safe for the first time in a long time. I can't remember the last time I had woken up in bed in someone's arms and felt this way. Josh hated cuddling. In bed with him was all about sex or sleep. Half the time he wouldn't be there in the mornings anyways. Being a doctor had him called away at all hours.

I closed my eyes again for another few seconds taking in this moment. Trying to put into my memory his scent, his warmth, how protected and safe I felt. I reopened my eyes and tried to move his arms off of me.

"Your awake, were you able to sleep better?" Castle asked me in a very groggy rough voice. He must have been asleep as well.

"Yeah, it was just a bad dream, that's all, I'm okay now." I tried to sound convincing.

"It's time for your medication now, do you want me to stay with you here?"

I wanted to scream yes, never leave me! But I knew it would be very wrong. "No, please just go to bed, I'm fine now. I'll take my pills and be out for the rest of the night." I looked over at the clock that had 3:24am showing in neon numbers. I'd slept for over 8 hours with him. Josh would freak if he found out.

"I'll be on the couch if you need me. Please don't hesitate to call if there is anything at all."

"No you won't be comfortable, go sleep in the guest room."

"I'd feel better if I could be within hearing range of you. Even if you just want a glass of water, I want to be able to hear you call." He passed me my medication then made his way out the door closing it behind him.

I kept my eyes glued on the door for a little longer before I felt myself drift back to sleep.

When I awoke again it was 8:56am. There was a strong smell of bacon in the air. I made my way over to the bathroom. I put my underwear back on as well as my pants. I didn't like wearing the same underwear two days in a row but I didn't have much of a choice in the matter. I retied the robe tighter, there was no point in me trying to put the sweater back on.

"Good morning sunshine!" I heard Castle say once I left his room. He was standing behind the counter cooking at the stove. He had shed his usual dress suit and was now sporting navy blue sweat pants, and a white wife beater shirt. Between the tightness of his shirt and the bareness of his shoulders and arms it showed how fit and built he really was. He must have caught me staring because he then picked up a white t-shirt that was nearby and put it on. "Were you able to sleep okay after I left?"

"Hey, yeah I slept great thank you. I don't think I have ever slept in silk sheets before. It felt incredible." I saw him smile and turn back to the stove. His attitude was much different than it was the previous day. I knew what was on his mind, it was on mine as well. What had happened last night, had it changed anything?

"What happened to Esposito and Ryan, weren't they supposed to come by yesterday?"

"Yeah, they called but given what you have just been put through and that you were sleeping and need your sleep, I convinced them to come by today instead. They're going to come by with Lanie after and bring supper, if you're up for it of course."

"Yeah that sounds great actually, after eating hospital food for so long I want to enjoy all the food I can now that I am out, there's only so many meatballs one person can eat you know?" I laughed a bit, hoping my joke would break the awkwardness that now suffocated the kitchen. He didn't even turn to face me. Was he hurt that I had him leave part way through the night? I turned around on my seat to look around, I don't know how I had missed it earlier but the living room was covered in boxes and bags of all sizes. "What is all that?"

"That is your new stuff. We don't know how long it will be before you can return to your apartment so I picked up a bunch of clothing, purses, makeup, hair items, everything that will make you feel more at home." He was facing me once again, he handed me a glass of orange juice followed by a plate of bacon and eggs.

"Castle I don't know how I could ever repay you for all this, how did you manage to do all this?" I looked back at the boxes in amazement.

"I have a lot of connections." He stood there smiling at me, while I just kept looking around the room in shock. There was definitely thousands of dollars worth of stuff there. "I chose the items that seemed easiest to help dress yourself."

"Thank you, Castle." I said in a daze, no one had ever done something like this for me.

"You're welcome," he said as he took a seat as well and we ate together in silence. It was by far the best eggs I had tasted in a long time.

I helped clean up the kitchen as much as I could then we got to going through the boxes. They ranged from all kinds of stores such as Macy's, Old Navy and Victoria Secret. Castle helped me organize everything in his room. He had cleared some space in the cupboard so I could hang some things up. He also made some room in a couple of drawers. All the things he had chosen were perfect and were the right size surprisingly. Everything had been chosen specifically for my needs (easy on).

After my next dose of medication Castle left me alone so I could take another nap. This time I had proper pajamas to sleep in, silk ones might I add.

_When I opened my eyes it was 5:26. I was surprised I had slept so long. I made my way out of bed and over to the washroom where I brushed my hair and cleaned my teeth. It felt so good to be able to do that myself again. I picked up a dark blue jogging suit and put that on before leaving the room to see what Rick was up to. _

_As soon as I left the room the air had a stale smell to it. I couldn't smell his cologne as I had since I had arrived. The door to the office was open but Carter wasn't there, it was empty. I called out to Castle. He didn't respond. He had said that he would be there in case I needed him, I found it weird that he had gone somewhere he couldn't hear me calling him. I walked through the living room and there was no sign of him. The kitchen was also deserted. I made my way upstairs to see if maybe he had chosen to take a nap in the guest room. The first three doors were left open and were all empty, no sign of him anywhere. _

_There was one door left that must have been a bathroom, I knocked on it and called out to him. No response, I knocked again and waited. Then I slowly turned the handle and saw him lying naked, on the floor in a pool of his blood. There was a gunshot wound in his lower abdomen. On the mirror was a note in the stream that read, "You're next Kate!"_

I woke up with a start and out of breath, I looked around and listened to see if I could hear anything. I got up and went out to the living room where Rick had said he would be, he wasn't there. I looked in the deserted kitchen, no evidence he had been in there recently. I called out to him a few times, but there was no response.

I thought back to my nightmare from the night before, was this a sign that he was going to die saving me? I went over to the stairs and went up them as fast as I could ignoring the searing pain coming from my side. I called out to him again but there was no response. When I made it to the top I did a quick scan of the floor. There were 5 doors that I could see, three were opened and two were closed. I walked by the first two, Alexis' and Martha's rooms, but they were both empty. I got to the third one and saw the clothing Rick had been wearing lying on the floor. This must have been the guest room. I looked down the hall again and had fear sweep over me. I walked into the guest room and sat down on the bed to catch my breath. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath.

"Kate what are you doing up here?" I looked up and saw Castle walking into the room towards me. He had clearly just stepped out of the shower as he was only in a towel and his skin was glistening. At least that answered why he hadn't heard me.

I tried to think up a good excuse that sounded better than 'I thought you were dead'. Instead all that came out was a cry. He came over to the bed and sat down next to me and pulled me in for a hug. The tears just kept streaming out and I couldn't help it. What was up with these medications I was taking, they were making me uncontrollably emotional.

"Shh shh it's okay, everything's okay, you are safe here." He rubbed my back trying to calm me down.

"I keep get..ting th..ese nig..nightmares, th..they won't s..stop." I tried to explain to him between sobs. I swallowed and tried again. "They're scaring me, the settings are so real, and it's him, it's my mother's killer in them all. He's back and killing trying to get to me." I wanted to tell him everything but I thought it best to leave out the reason I was terrified and went searching for him. I thought I had lost him, he was the one I was scared of losing.

"They're just nightmares, you've been through a lot. Dreams are just clips of what is on your mind or what you have experienced during your day. They are not real."

I felt like I was losing it. The doctors had told me I'd need to pass a psychological evaluation before I would be able to return to work, I thought it was pointless but I was realizing how necessary it now was. I looked into his eyes and they were full of worry and fear for me. I put my hand behind his head and pulled him in until my lips met his.

His lips felt so soft. I felt his tongue gently push my lips apart. I let my tongue explore his mouth and move along his lips. I took in his feeling, his wet body close to mine, our tongues competing for each other's mouths. I could feel all my stress flying away.

I could feel his hand caressing my side while his other hand rested on my neck. After a few moments I pulled back. I kept my eyes on the floor feeling too embarrassed to look him straight in the eye. I could feel his warmth move in closer to me and give me a kiss on my forehead before pulling me in for a hug. I let my head rest on his shoulder for a while until I felt his body tense up. I looked up at him in confusion. His eyes were staring out beyond the door listening for something.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It was the door, Esposito, Lanie and Ryan must be here." He looked at me with frustration then made his way over to the cupboard where he pulled out some clothing. "I'm going to go change in the bathroom, do you want to rest up here for a little while? I can try to make them get lost for a little longer if you prefer."

I really didn't feel like seeing anyone. I had made a big enough fool out of myself already in front of Castle, overreacting over nothing. "Just please give me a little time, I'll be down in a bit." I could see the worry in his eyes, I gave him a reassuring smile. He turned around and left.

I lay down on my back and stared up at the ceiling. Had that really just happened? I couldn't take the smile off of my face, then I thought back to Josh, we were still together. He already wouldn't be to impressed when he found out I was bunking with Castle. I closed my eyes and thought about both these men. One made me smile in the darkest of moments, the other was a good companion and was nothing more. I had to call Josh, but first I had to talk to Lanie.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hey guys! Thank you for everyone that has added this story! The hits from my last chapter were amazing and it made me so incredibly happy! **

**In this chapter there is talk about some medication. I did some research to try and be as accurate as possible but I am no pharmacist so it may not be 100% accurate. Also the drug ditroxiforma is supposed to not exist, I made that one up **

**Thank you all so much for your continuous support! Please keep reading and reviewing :)**

**Also I sadly still do not own Castle or any of it's characters, if I did Beckett and Castle would be a lot closer by now!**

_Chapter 16: Secret Attack_

"Hey girl, how are you doing?" I looked up to see Lanie walking into the room. I glanced over to the clock to see that I had been up there for almost an hour. I must have passed out after Castle left, I just felt so exhausted.

"Hey, I must have…fallen asleep," I said as I sat up looking around in confusion.

"Of course you did, are those Castle's pants I see?" She nodded down to the floor beside me.

"Yeah, I…" I stopped midsentence trying to figure out how much I wanted to say that wouldn't make me sound like a crazy person. "I just came up here to find Castle and I was in a lot of pain so he said I could rest here for a bit."

"Kate, Kate, Kate," Lainie said as she shook her head and sat next to me on the bed, "you're living in his loft, his daughter and mother are away, you can not tell me everything has stayed g rated here girl, I'm not buying it." A huge smile appeared on her face.

"Lainie, I..I feel like I'm losing it" the tears started coming again, "My emotions are going all…w…wonky, a hitman is after me and…and people are dying because of it, I can't seem to stop crying, I'm having these nightmares that are scaring me to death, I just can't seem to hold it together, I don't know…what to do," I sobbed as Lainie put her arms around me and pulled me in for a hug.

"You've been through a lot Kate, its normal to be out of sorts. You're safe here, you have 24/7 security, no one is going to get to you here." I could see her face was full of worry, but her words seemed reassuring for the moment. I tried to take a deep breath but ended up hunched over clutching my stomach. "You okay? Kate?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's probably time for my medication, its downstairs." She helped me lay back down while she went in search of my pills.

**Castle's POV **

"Castle can you help me find Beckett's medication?" I looked over to see Lainie walking towards me with a worried look on her face. I got up and motioned her over to Kate's room. As soon as we entered the room she immediately closed the door behind her, I had twelve witty comments that came to mind but when I saw the expression on her face I could tell now was not the time. "How long has she been like this?"

I looked at her in confusion. "How do you mean?" She glared at me and described what happened upstairs. "I have known Kate for a long time, even under a lot of pressure I have never seen her break down like that. She's not one to show her feelings, she hides it from everyone. Where are her meds?" I walked over to the night stand and handed her the containers.

"What, do you think it's her medication? They gave her the same as what she was taking in the hospital. Why would these symptoms start so long after she started taking them?"

"I'm not sure, but that was not the Kate I know upstairs. She also should not be in this much pain still." Lainie said as she started scanning the medication containers. She checked the label before opening the jars and checking inside at the pills. "I've never heard of this one before, who prescribed this one? It seems to be blurred out where it says the doctor's name." She asked lifting one up to my eyes.

"Her doctor, I assume, he prescribed all of them. His name should be on the label here," I said as I took the container from her to say the name. However, next to 'Dr.' looked like it had been wet and it was all blurred out and completely illegible. I looked back at Lainie while fear started growing inside of me.

"Oh my god," Lainie said as she put her hands to her mouth and started breathing deeper.

"Let me get her prescription papers out that the doctor wrote for us before we left. It has all the information and dosses of each type of medication he prescribed." I said as I picked the paper up off the dresser and returned to her. We scanned the page and matched all the containers with what was written on the paper except for the one held in Lainie's hand, Ditroxiforma.

"I'm calling the hospital to check on this." Lainie rushed out of the room while I hurried to find Carter who had just returned to start his shift.

"The hospital has no information on Ditroxiforma, nor have they ever heard of it before, they did not prescribe it. The other meds are legit. I'm going down to the lab, I'm having these run to see what's in them, the hospital is sending her doctor over to check on Kate and make sure it didn't do any permanent damage to her." Lainie said as she picked up her jacket off the couch and headed towards the door with container in hand.

"Call as soon as you find out anything babe," Esposito said as he walked over to her and gave her a quick kiss before she was out the door.

"Beckett's still resting, I managed to convince her it wasn't time for her medication yet. I thought it best to hold off on the news until we knew for sure what we were dealing with," Ryan said as he returned to the living room from upstairs.

**Kate's POV**

I looked up to see two men entering the room. I was still lying in the bed, I was feeling very groggy and shaky. Beads of sweat were forming all over my body yet I was shivering. One of the men walking in seemed to look a little familiar but I couldn't place him, the other man I didn't know. I slowly tried to move to a sitting position while they entered followed by Castle. I looked over at Castle in confusion and he just smiled and gave a little nod with a smile indicating everything was safe.

"Good even Kathryn Beckett, I am Dr. Walsh, you may not remember me but I was the doctor that did the first immediate surgery on you when you first arrived in ER. This is Dr. Michaels who you will get to know more about later on. For now I am more concerned about the medication you've been taking."

I looked back and forth between the three men standing in front of me waiting for an explanation. My eyes rested on Castle. "There seems to be a problem with one of the medications that was prescribed to you. As far as the hospital goes they have never heard of Ditroxiforma and have no record of it on file." I stared at Castle waiting for him to go on, I could feel my heart rate rising.

"We're waiting on the results of the tests that are being run on the medication to see what we're dealing with. I'm going to run a few tests on you now to make sure everything is okay, and we'll go from there."

I looked over at Castle at a loss for words and with fear running through me, he gave me a reassuring smile before he left the room.

**Castle's POV – Living room**

"This is not good bro, not good at all," Esposito said pacing back and forth.

"We picked up the prescription at the hospital. We handed in the prescriptions then waited for them to call us when they were ready. Since that wasn't on the list, someone behind the counter had to have placed it in there. Could one of them been the killer?" I asked looking at Esposito waiting for an answer.

"Not likely, it's too obvious. He probably either paid one of the workers or had something on one of them and blackmailed them into doing it. This guy has kept his identity a secret for a long time, everyone that's been in contact with him have chosen death over revealing his identity. He's carefully remained in hiding, he wouldn't risk his face being connected to the shootout that happened right after at the hospital." Esposito explained.

"Okay I talked with the head of hospital staff and only four workers were schedualed to work at the prescription counter at that time," Ryan said as he walked back into the room, phone in hand. "Esposito lets go get them into custody see if we can get anything out of them." Esposito stood up immediately and headed towards the door.

"We'll call when we find anything out, stay with Beckett, keep a close eye on her, a very close eye, that son of a bitch got to her meds, we won't overlook anything again." Esposito said to me as they headed over to the foyer. I nodded as they took their leave making sure the door was securely locked.

"Mr. Castle, may we have a word with you for a moment?" I turned quickly seeing the doctor and his partner coming down the stairs.

"Yes of course, can I offer you coffee, a drink or anything?" I directed them over to the kitchen and pointed at the two stools under the counter while I placed myself opposite them.

"No thank you, we need to discuss with you Ms. Becketts condition." Mr. Walsh said as they took their seats. I leaned over and rested my arms on the counter. I took in a deep breath unsure of whether I wanted to hear what they had to say or not. "Until the results come back from the lab we have no way of knowing what Ms. Beckett has been ingesting. By doing a standard checkup she seems to not have been left with any permanent damage. However once I know what she has taken I can do some more thorough checkup to ensure she is healthy."

"So you're saying she won't have any lifelong effects from this?" I asked hoping for a clear cut answer.

"Until I can do a more thorough examination of her I won't know for sure, but as of this moment, no I do not believe she will. I also want to introduce to you Mr. Michaels. Mr. Michaels is a police psychologist that has dealt in all types of situations whether it was on the job or a personal matter he has been through a lot and is very familiar with the usual stresses of being a cop. I have asked him to take on Kathryn Beckett and he has approved. A mandatory 10 hours is required for Ms. Beckett. After which Mr. Michaels will decide whether more time is needed or if she is capable to return to work." A buzz from his pocket had him reach for his phone, "excuse me, I've got to take this," he said after he checked who was calling.

I watched after him while he talked on the phone, he was only on it for about 30 seconds but I could tell by his mannerisms that it was a very important call. "That was Lainie," He said as he headed back over.

"She is still running tests but she opened up one of the capsules and inside found traces of Ativan and Nimetazepam. Ativan can cause stomach cramps, dizziness, tiredness, confusion of reality, and weakness. Nimetazepam is a sleeping pill and can cause shakiness and nervousness. Both of these are extremely dangerous when mixed together, they could even," he paused and took a deep breath, after a moment he cleared his throat and said, "they could even be…fatal."


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hey guys! This chapter is a lot of short scenes. I need to get some things tied up before I can write the next part of the story. **

**Hope you enjoy it!**

**XxXxXxX**

**Monday Evening Castle's POV:**

Chapter 17:

Once again I sat waiting, staring at the ground. This time it wasn't on a chair in the hospital waiting room, but on the floor in front of the door in which Kate occupied. Every few seconds my mind would play games with me and I swear I'd hear a noise and look up to see if the door had opened, each time there was nothing. I kept replaying the last few days over in my head. How could I have been so trusting? When the hospital was attacked so soon after her release I should have known something was up. I should have checked the medication or had Lanie check it before Beckett took it.

I let my eyes rest on the door. What was taking them so long in there? Dr. Walsh had called in two people whom he works very closely with. They arrived a short while later carrying dozens of bags of poles and tubes and who knows what else. They rushed to Kate's room and closed the door behind them. Two hours and forty three minutes later here I still sat, waiting.

Finally the door opened and out walked Dr. Walsh. "Mr. Castle? She was lucky she only took a couple doses. There was no permanent damage. Since her last dose was several hours ago it is already on its way out of her system. I have her on some other medication to help her recover from what she had taken. The ditoxiforma seemed to have just hindered her healing process. I would like you to keep a very close eye on her for the next twenty four hours. If there is anything call this number and I will be over as fast as possible," He handed me a small white rectangular piece of cardboard that had his name and work numbers neatly printed on the front. On the back a cell phone number had been hand written in.

I thanked him and shook his hand and after confirmation that the rest of her medication was correct he and his staff were on their way. I stood in front of Kate's door for the longest time just staring at it not sure what to say to her. It was getting harder and harder to tell her everything was going to be okay while she was constantly under attack. I opened the door expecting to find her asleep and was surprised to see her looking at me.

"Hey Castle," she said tiredly.

"Hey, it's time to stop scaring me now okay?" I said with a smile on my face while I walked over and sat down on the bed next to her.

"I promise to try." She said returning the smile. "Do the guys have any suspects?"

"They're checking who was working and said they'd get back to me when they find out anything. For now you need your rest, I'll be downstairs, call me if you need anything," I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze then headed out the door. I looked back to see her eyes already closed. I smiled to myself and made my way downstairs.

XxXxXxXx

"Castle, Castle?" I awoke with a start to a blurry sight in front of me. I closed my eyes and rubbed them wiping the sleep away, this time when I opened them I saw Beckett's silhouette standing in front of me. I looked passed her and saw a guy on the television trying to sell me some kitchen instrument that would 'make my life easier' for only three easy installments of 19.99$ but I must act fast because in 59 minutes the offer would expire. "Sorry to wake you." I looked back at Kate who was giving me an apologetic face.

"No, no don't be crazy, it's fine. I was just watching something and I must have fallen asleep," I sat up rubbing my eyes a bit more trying to adjust to my surroundings. The sun was just starting to cast its light on the city. The apartment had that morning chill to it. "How'd you get down here, are you okay?" I asked while I looked her over for signs of pain or discomfort. I couldn't find either. She looked more like herself than I had seen since before the shooting. She was now dressed in a pair of navy blue sweat pants and a snug white top that showed a bulge where her bandages were. Her hair was also pulled back into a neat pony tail without a strand out of place.

"I'm actually feeling great. Best I have in a while thanks to Dr. Walsh. I was able to make it downstairs with little pain and I even managed to get changed. It hurt a fair bit putting my top on but I did it." She was glowing as she said the last few words. Kate was not one to sit around. It had to be killing her not being able to get up and go like she always had. Her hand rested on her injury while she sat down slowly. I could tell she was still in more pain than she was letting on but she was definitely making a quicker recovery. "Now that I have basically slept through all my meals I am starving! Mind if I help myself to something?"

"There's still Chinese food that the guys brought over earlier. No one had any so there is plenty, I don't think they would mind us diving into it," Her smile grew as I helped her up and we headed over to the kitchen.

The next few days passed by quite quietly without too much excitement. We watched a lot of reruns of _Temptation Island, Friends_, and _Cheers,_ while pigging out on popcorn. Esposito came by and got Kate's statement for her apartment. We were going to try and have another dinner as a group when Kate felt more up to it. For now she wanted to stay as low key as possible.

**Friday Morning 9:56am:**

Three days after the big scare I woke up fairly late. It was my first time in a long while that I was able to get good night's sleep. On my way to see if Kate was up (who was back to staying in my Master Bedroom) I overheard her talking with someone. I was about to turn away when I heard my name being mentioned. I am not one to listen in to private phone calls but it sparked my curiosity hearing her say my name. I couldn't resist the urge to miss out on girl talk when I was involved. I moved in a little closer and heard Beckett once again.

"…it's nothing you've done Josh, believe me. I just feel this is the right thing for me at this time…" I could hear her pause while Josh responded on the other end. "No it's nothing to do with Castle, he's just a great friend of mine…_silence_…I care for you deeply, but I don't see us going anywhere. With you so far away all the time I feel like I'm holding you back…_silence_…no I don't mean it that way. Our lives are just very different. I hope you can respect my choice and hopefully sometime in the future we could be friends…_silence_…you too Josh, take care." I heard the beep of the phone ending and I gave a little knock on the door.

She turned and looked at me, "Eavesdropping Castle?"

"I wasn't trying to, I heard my name and…"

I saw her smile and realized she wasn't mad, "it's okay Castle," she cut me off. "I thought it was time to end things, I can't handle the long distance any longer. I need someone who can be here for me when I need him. Take care of me when I need help." Her eyes caught on mine and we kept them connected for a while until I broke contact and left to make some breakfast. With her living under my roof it was getting harder and harder to keep my feelings quiet.

**Sunday Morning:**

I had been sitting in the living room working on my book when Kate came out of her room grasping her cell phone and she had a confused look on her face.

"That was the new captain from the precinct, Captain Victoria Gates. She wants to meet with me." I could see the confusion on her face as she told me. "She said she was going to be here in an hour."

"Did she say what it's regarding?"

"No, I guess it's just to introduce herself." As she told me she was staring off into space. "I'm going to go shower and clean up before she gets here." She turned around and went back into her room, once her door was closed I went over to see Sam and let him know we were about to have a visitor.

**An Hour Later**

An hour almost right down to the minute we heard a knock at the door. After Sam checked it out and gave me a nod I headed over and opened it. Standing in front of the door was a 5'5" African woman. Average weight dressed in a grey pants suit with a pale pink top under. Her hair was perfectly straight down her back with half of it neatly pinned up. "Good Afternoon, you must be Mr. Richard Castle." She straightened her arm out for me to shake. "I am Captain Gates."

"Nice to meet you Ms. Gates, Kate will be out in a moment." I stepped aside to let her in.

"Captain Gates, Mr. Castle. I worked hard for that title, please use it." She said as she walked passed me into my loft. She seemed like she was a real joy, definitely no Roy Montgomery. "Ah Ms. Beckett, I am Captain Gates, I hope you are recovering well."

"Hi Captain Gates, it's a pleasure to meet you, yes the recovery is coming along well." Kate headed over to where Gates was standing and extended her arm.

"Detective Beckett I need to speak with you about something important," I saw her glance in my direction, "in private."

"I will make myself scarce, nice meeting you Ms... I mean Captain Gates." I nodded and headed on upstairs.

**Kate's POV Castle's Living room**

"Please have a seat," I led her towards the couch while I sat opposite her on a chair.

"Detective Beckett, I have gone over your files and I am aware of your mother's murder, along with Lockwood, McCallister, and all those that were also connected. I have studied it very closely. Unfortunately I have also connected it with three recent murders since your hospital release. In all three cases the same weapon was used and I am one hundred percent certain it is the same guy orchestrating these murders."

"Wait three? Don't you mean two? There was the hospital as well as my landlord at my apartment." I said in a confused tone. If there had been another I surely would have known, Esposito or Ryan would have told me.

"Yes three. The third one happened in the wee hours this morning at the Old Haunt. Two people in a disguise walked in and started shooting the place demanding to see the owner. From descriptions from witnesses we're assuming it was a male and a female."

"Oh my god, does Castle know? He's the owner and he would have said something to me if he knew." I was so surprised and in shock I didn't know what to say. Whoever this person was they were now after Castle.

"We tried calling his cell but the line kept going dead. I will inform him after I have spoken with you. We are quite concerned and we think it is in the best interest for you if we put you in a safe house. I am getting everything together and a car will be here for you hopefully by the end of the day. I will arrange for a new name and passport for you."

"What? No way am I running. Not when the people closest to me are in danger. I am safe here, I am not going anywhere. You may not know me very well captain but I am a very strong and determined person, and I will not go down without a fight."

"Very well, if you change your mind you know how to contact me. It's for your own safety detective. I do not approve of you staying here." With that she stood up and headed over to the stairs to speak with Castle.

**Castle's POV:**

"I will be right over Captain Gates, thank you for informing me." I closed the door behind her and told Sam that I had to go out for a little while. When I left my office I saw Kate sitting on the couch with a terrified expression on her face. "What's wrong?"

"They're after you now Castle, they know I'm staying with you."

"I won't go, I can give Esposito my statement here like you did. I won't leave your side, I promise."

"No, it's not me I'm worried about, it's you. I just don't know how to stop this, it's getting out of control. Already we're confined your loft, how long will we have to stay like this? I refuse to live like that. I'm coming with you." She said as she stood up and started to go fetch her purse.

"No way in hell are you leaving here right now. If I have to tie you to something I will. I am not letting you leave this apartment. You're safe here." I got up and stood in front of her stopping her.

"Be careful Rick, I mean it." I gave her a smile and pulled her in for a hug.

"I promise Kate, I will be very careful. The place is surrounded by cops, I'll be fine." Our hug got interrupted by a knock at the door. I went over to Sam and saw who it was and was tempted to ignore it. I opened up the door grudgingly.

"Hey Rick, may I have a word with Kate?" Josh stood at the door trying to see behind me at Kate. I was about to open my mouth and say no when I heard Kate's voice behind me.

"It's okay Castle, let him in." I stepped aside slowly and kept my eyes on him while he walked past me. "Castle go, you have to be somewhere. I'll be fine." I kept my eyes on her for a moment, then turned and left. I tried calling Esposito's cell then Ryan's but neither answered. I figured they were already down there and busy. I was about to try Lanie when my phone rang. It was Gates.

"Hi Mr. Castle, we have made an arrest. I think you better get down here." I quickened my pace got in a cab and headed in the direction of the precinct.

**A/N: I've already started working on Chapter 18 and am hoping to have it up by Monday night! **


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Help

**Castle's POV 12****th**** Precinct**

It felt strange walking back into the precinct and not seeing Kate anywhere in sight. Her chair was empty, my chair was still there hugging the side of her empty desk. It had been nearly a month since I had been in here. I looked over and saw no one at Esposito's or Ryan's desk. They were probably still down at the Old Haunt.

I did a quick scan of the room, everything seemed the same. The last time I had been here I could see Montgomery sitting at his desk. Now as I looked in that direction I could see the office rearranged and redecorated. I headed over and knocked on the door three times. When I heard 'enter' I took a deep breath, turned the knob and walked in.

The desk was no longer on the far wall, it now sat facing the door. More blinds had been added for increased privacy. All the portraits of Montgomery's family and close friends had been removed and replaced with diplomas and awards all marked out to Victoria Gates.

"Thank you for coming down Mr. Castle, please take a seat." She motioned to two reupholstered chairs that sat facing her desk. I sat down and crossed my hands as I could feel them getting quite clammy. It reminded me back to my high school days of getting called down into the principal's office.

"No problem Captain, you said you have someone in custody? If you're asking whether I would like to press charges on the damage of my building I'll need to take a look at it before I can…"

"Mr. Castle," She cut me off, "that is not why I needed to see you here. The person we have in custody is someone that worked in the hospital. She had worked very closely during Detective Beckett's stay in ICU."

"You mean it was one of the doctors? Where are Esposito and Ryan? You said there was most likely a male and female that entered the Old Haunt. Do they have leads on the male?"

"That's what I was getting at." She paused and stared at her desk. I could tell whatever it was was difficult for her to get out. "Last night Esposito and Ryan got a big tip on the shooter from the cemetery. They left at 7pm last night to check it out, I haven't heard from them since. Their car was found abandoned at the place they were set to meet. Their phones go straight to voicemail and I can't get a GPS reading on them."

I sat there in shock and just stared at her. I could feel myself breathing deeply and quicker than I had been. My blood pressure was rising. They had been lured into a trap. How was I supposed to tell Beckett that they couldn't be found?

"I have uniforms out searching for them. The person we have in custody is a Francine Williams who has been going by the name Alison Davidson."

"Ali? Alison Davidson? I was with her, she is Josh's sister." I could feel a lump building in my throat. It was her all along.

"Josh Davidson, a.k.a Jordan Scott, is not her brother. I have run checks on them and they are wanted in several different countries. They are known as the 'Sly Duo'. Once the others were all taken down the leader hired them to make a hit on Detective Beckett. After running checks on both their families I have discovered Jordan's father is a well-known drug lord. Cops have been trying to catch him and bring him in for years. The one that got closest to putting him behind bars was Johanna Beckett."

"We have to get back to my loft, Josh is there with Kate." I could barely get it out. I picked up my cell and tried to get hold of her, there was no answer, I tried calling Sam, also no response. I looked over at Gates and saw her frantically on the phone calling everyone on duty to get to my loft immediately. She gave me a wave and mouthed she'd be over right behind me. I ran as fast as I could down the stairs and waved down a cab. I kept calling both phones over and over to no avail.

**Castle's Loft Kate's POV**

"Listen Josh, I'm sorry about how I ended things, I didn't want to do it over the phone, it just needed to be said." I walked over to the couch and took a seat. I watched Josh as he followed me.

"I know Katie, I just feel like I really need to talk with you first. Are we alone?"

"Just Sam, but he won't bother us," I said to him.

"Do you mind if I go and talk to him for a moment? I want to make sure he can keep you safe. I have been hearing about all these murders around you and I am getting worried. I want to make sure you're in good hands."

"Uh, sure, he's just in that door over there." I pointed towards Castle's office door and saw him make his way over. While he was in the room I walked over and searched through the contents of my handbag. I went back over to the couch and waited for Josh to emerge from the room.

"You've got a great security guard there Kate. I can tell you're in good hands." He came back to the couch and took a seat. "Listen Kate, I'm sorry that we didn't work out. I really did fall for you, you know. However, I have a very important job to do, and I take my job seriously. I hope you can understand that." I stared at him in confusion.

"I know you're job…" Before I could finish my sentence I felt a hard thud on my face as his fist made contact with my jaw. A few seconds later I felt a sharp jab to my stomach. I tried to move but he had his body pinning me to the couch. "Sam..." I tried to yell out but I was badly winded and my injury was searing with pain. I could feel a bruise starting to form on my jaw.

"He won't hear you Katie. You should be proud though, he didn't go down without a fight. But a knife to the neck doesn't really give you much energy to fight back." He chuckled into my face.

"Why are you doing this?" I choked out.

"Your mommy came very close to putting my dad behind bars. Do you have any idea how badly his business suffered because of her? Every time he turned the corner there she was stockpiling evidence on him. She finally managed to get that right piece of evidence that would have put him behind bars for life. Now he couldn't have that could he? He had to take her out. If she would have let it drop she'd probably still be alive now, but she had to keep going after him, she was determined to get him. Now you're following in her footsteps, you won't let it drop, so guess what? You get to meet her tonight! Say hello for me."

"No," I yelled and used all my strength to push him off of me. As I was still recovering from my gunshot wound I only managed to make him stumbled backwards. In seconds he latched onto my foot and forcefully pulled me onto the floor. I hit my head on the coffee table on the way down. I tried to look around but my vision was blurry and the room was spinning.

"Kate, I can make this much easier for you. Just hold still and I'll finish you quickly." I could make out his body near my feet. I pushed my right foot at his shin and managed to knock him to the ground.

"It was you wasn't it, you shot me at the cemetery." I cried at him as he grabbed hold of my arm and flung me down on my back.

"Actually I won't take credit for a bad shot. I had to be at the hospital to play the heartbroken boyfriend when you flat lined. My partner would have killed you in one shot if Castle hadn't pushed you as the bullet hit you." He leaned his left arm across my upper chest so I couldn't move. His right arm went through his pocket and removed a rectangular black case. He pushed a button and out popped a shiny blade covered in blood. "I guess if you want something done right you have to do it yourself." He lifted the blade to my throat. "Do you have any final words?"

"Go to hell." My hands had been pinned under me but I had just enough room to slip my fingers through the loop of my gun, which had been tucked in the back of my pants. I slowly slid my hand out and let it shoot into his abdomen. His arm weakened on me and I managed to use that to my advantage to get my other hand out and grab his knife. I tossed it behind me.

"Argh," He screamed as the blood oozed out and I could feel it dripping onto my stomach. He looked at me in confusion.

"I'm a trained detective, I knew something was up. So when you went to see Sam I got my gun for security, felt I might need it."

He threw his hand at my gun and tried it get it from me. I didn't have much of a chance on winning this one. He still had his body on mine and I couldn't move much. I felt his hand slip over mine on the gun. He was turning it to face me. I brought my other hand into it and tried to fight his strength. The room seemed to be spinning more and I didn't have the strength to fight anymore.

I could feel his grip loosening as well. The gun was now in between us, I tried once more with all the strength left in me for one final push. I shoved him as hard as I could to gain control. I heard the gun go off but I was already in so much pain I couldn't tell if I was shot or him. I tried to feel where my hands were but everything was getting dark. I was losing consciousness fast. Soon everything was dark.

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, Please let me know what you think! :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hey guys! This story is nearing its end and I am feeling sad. I have enjoyed working on this story so much. I plan to have at least one more chapter after this one, maybe two depending on how the next chapter goes. Thank you all once again for continuing on with this story. It makes me so happy when I check the reviews, and see how many people have added this story on their alerts, you guys are all so amazing! Anyways here is the next chapter, it is slightly shorter than the others, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I still sadly do not own Castle or anything affiliated with it, because trust me if I did Rick and Kate would have been long married by now!**

**XxXxX**

**Hospital Kate's POV**

When I opened my eyes again I could see familiar tiles above me followed by a very familiar voice. "You know if you loved the food here that much I could arrange to have it delivered."

I turned my head slightly to look at the ruggedly handsome guy sitting beside my bed. He had a smile pinned on his face and had a relieved look on his face. Out of the corner of my eye I could see his hand tightly clutching mine.

"Hey Castle," I tried to smile back but I got a sharp pain shooting to my jaw. It all came flooding back. Josh, Sam, the gun, the knife, "Josh?"

"Died a few hours ago, his partner is behind bars."

"His father is…"

"I know," Castle said as he cut me off, "after we figured out who Josh was a couple uniforms went over to his home and had enough information to bring him in. While searching his place they found enough evidence to connect him to your mother's murder along with several other murders. It's over Kate, it's finally over," His nature was calm and reassuring, the grin on his face was growing larger and larger.

"How long was I out? Where are Esposito and Ryan?"

"Several hours, when the cops went to search Josh's car they found Esposito and Ryan in the trunk. They weren't harmed. From the look of it Josh along with an accomplice, probably Ali, had gotten them from behind with some chemicals on cloths that had them pass out. From there they used the cuffs that Esposito and Ryan had on them to tie them up and hide them out in his trunk."

"I need to see him," was all I managed to respond with. "I need to see for myself he's going away for good."

"Kate, I don't think that's…"

"Don't step in the way of this Castle, I need closure." I cut him off with a voice much louder than I probably should have in a hospital.

"Okay," I looked at him in shock, surprised he gave in so easily. "But I'm going with you."

XxXxX

The following morning I was released with a bruised jaw, several pulled muscles and a once again searing wound where I had been shot almost a month ago. Some of the stitches had to be redone but no serious damage had been done.

Once the elevator doors opened I could feel a lump building up in my stomach. I was suddenly fighting to find my breath. I had had panic attacks before, but this one was scarier. I couldn't run away from this one, I had to face it head on. I needed closure. I felt a hand slip into mine. I looked over at Castle who gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "We don't have to do this, we can still leave." I could see the worry all over his face.

"No, I have to do this," I pulled my hand away from his and took a deep breath. I tried to take in my surroundings then realized it was too hard. Without Montgomery's familiar face around the corner it was too hard to face reality. I needed more time before I felt comfortable back in the precinct. I took a deep breath and headed straight for the room opposite the questioning room.

"Detective, are you sure you want to do this? It will be harder than you think." Captain Gates said once she saw me enter. I turned around and saw Castle behind me. I locked eyes with him for just a moment. It was long enough to give me the strength to face this. I returned my gaze back to Gates.

"Yes I'm sure Captain, I can do this." I tried to hold my voice strong and not let it crack to show weakness.

"Very well." Captain Gates said as she left the room. I looked over to the questioning room which was currently empty except for the table and a few chairs. I could feel the lump building in my stomach once again, and my breaths were becoming shorter. I thought about my mother and ignored everything I was feeling. I was doing this for her.

A few minutes later I saw the door open in the opposite room, Detectives Esposito and Ryan entered with a large man in between them. The man had a big bushy beard with his hands cuffed behind his back. They led the bearded fellow to one of the chairs as they sat down opposite him.

"You've been told about your rights Mr. Cameron," Esposito began, "you have been denied bail and are to remain in prison until your trial which is set for the 15th of December of 2011. You are facing life in prison or longer for the murder of Johanna Beckett, Christi…"

When I heard her name the room started spinning and I could feel my eyes getting warm and my sight getting blurry. I felt a familiar set of arms pull me in close. I turned and let my head rest on Castle's shoulder. I had enough I couldn't stand to see him anymore. Hearing the names of all those innocent people he had murdered, my mother being one of them.

Castle held me close until I heard chairs moving in the other room. I pulled away just in time to see Ryan and Esposito on either side of Mr. Cameron lifting him up and prepping him to be transferred to the state penitentiary.

I let my eyes rest on the empty room for a few more moments taking it all in. I tried to process everything that had happened over the past two days, how Josh was in on it. I'd been shot a month ago and would have been dead if Castle had not been there. Just then I felt a hand on my lower back. I turned and looked over into his eyes and said quietly in a low whisper, "there's somewhere I need to be, and I want you to be there with me." He nodded his head without asking any questions and led me out of the building.

**XxXxXxX**

A little over half an hour later I stood in front of a stone with my mother's name, birthdate and death date neatly engraved. I laid the flowers down which I had picked up on the way over. I had chosen a dozen daisy's. They had always been her favorite. I looked back and saw Castle leaning against the car five feet away watching me but keeping his distance so I could have some privacy. I knelt down in front of the grave and let my hand trail over the smooth stone which felt cool to the touch.

"It's finally over mom, I found him." I said quietly looking down at the flowers I had placed. I looked back up at her name. "You can finally rest in peace, he's going away for a long time." I paused and looked down at my hands. "I let you down, not being there for you that day. I should have been able to save you. Since that moment I have dedicated my life to finding him, and I finally have. We can be at peace now, I love you mom." I let my hand rest on her name for a few seconds before I stood up. I walked back over to the car and stood in front of Castle not sure what to say. He wrapped his arms around me once again and whispered in my ear, "It's okay Kate, you don't always have to be so strong, it's alright to let it out."

At that moment I lost all control. All the stress, pain, loss all came pouring out in tears. Castle stood there holding me not saying anything. His hands kept lightly stroking my back. After a few moments I pulled away and looked back at my mom's grave and felt relief wash over me. The case was finally solved. "Let's get out of here." I looked back at Castle's face and saw him give me a smile.


End file.
